Words with Friends 12

Words with Friends 12

Words with Friends episodes are bonus episodes where different members of Mama Dragons provide definitions for LGBTQ related topics. This episode includes the following definitions:

Deadname shared by Roxy Rich in Temecula, California

Binding shared by Tracey in Edinburgh, Scotland

Misgender shared by Betania in Indiana

Pronoun Usage  shared by Mel in Southeast Idaho

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Transcript

JEN: Hello and welcome to In The Den with Mama Dragons. I’m your host, Jen. This podcast was created to walk and talk with you through the journey of raising happy, healthy, and productive LGBTQ humans. Thanks for listening. We’re glad you’re here.

For many parents, learning they have an LGBTQ child also means they have a whole new vocabulary to learn. So, we’re here to give you an introduction to potential new vocabulary a few new words each time.  These definitions won’t teach you everything there is to know about these new words, but they will give you a foundation upon which to build your future learning. And remember, this is an area where vocabulary is changing rapidly. We invite you to enjoy how our language changes as our understanding grows.

Binding shared by Tracey in Edinburgh, Scotland

Binding refers to the practice of compressing breast tissue to give the appearance of a flat chest. It’s a way for trans people to alter their chest profile so that their appearance better matches their gender expression. The appearance of a flat chest can ease gender dysphoria for trans people who are uncomfortable with breasts. Binding involves the use of tight-fitting sports bras, shirts, ace bandages, or a specially made binder to provide a flat chest contour. Because binders

are constrictive by nature, it’s important to use binders wisely. Don’t sleep

or exercise in a binder, don’t wear a binder for more than eight hours a day,

and don’t use duct tape or plastic wrap to bind. 

Deadname shared by Roxy Rich in Temecula, California

Have you ever wondered what's in a name? A lot, actually. A name is part of your identity. And when someone calls you a name that isn't yours, you might feel hurt or disrespected. This can be especially true for transgender or gender nonconforming people who changed their name to better fit their identity. The name they were given at birth may not reflect their true self. But a new name can give a person the power to be seen by others as they see themselves.  Consider this: A deadname, the name that a person was given at birth but no longer uses, can bring up bad memories or lead to gender dysphoria. Deadnaming can be particularly harmful because using the name that parents or caregivers gave a person at birth may “out” a person as transgender. When other people know that a person is transgender, that person is more at risk of physical and sexual assault.

Misgender shared by Betania in Indiana

To misgender means to refer to someone, especially a transgender person, using pronouns that don’t reflect their gender identity. For people who are transgender or nonbinary and have a different gender identity than their assigned sex at birth, being misgendered may be a daily, painful occurrence. Which is something I had to learn from my nonbinary child. Misgendering can exacerbate gender dysphoria, increase depression and anxiety, and even contribute to suicidality. If you accidentally misgender someone, focusing too long on the mistake can cause further discomfort for the person you’ve misgendered. Just quickly apologize, correct yourself, and move on. 

Pronoun Usage  shared by Mel in Southeast Idaho

Pronouns are the words that we use to refer to someone when we aren’t using their name. And for trans and non-binary folks in particular, it’s also a way of respecting their humanity. Some common pronouns are she/her, he/him, and they/their. Did you know that ‘they’ has been used as a singular pronoun since 1375? We often use a singular ‘they’, or ‘their’ often. For example, if you find a jacket that was left behind in the office, you might ask: ‘Did someone leave their jacket here?’  There are also a variety of newly created pronouns that some people use, often referred to as “neopronouns” such as ze/hir or ae/aer.  Some people use specific pronouns, any pronouns, or no pronouns at all. Change can be hard, so if you are struggling with using someone’s pronouns, remember that it takes practice! Use the new pronouns as often as possible so that they become second nature to you. Using someone’s correct pronouns is a simple way to make someone you care about feel seen. 

JEN: Thanks for joining us In the Den. If you enjoyed this episode, please tell your friends, and take a minute to leave a positive rating and review wherever you listen. Good reviews make us more visible and help us reach more folks who could benefit from listening. And if you’d like to help Mama Dragons in our mission to support, educate, and empower the parents of LGBTQ children, please donate at mamadragons.org or click the donate link in the show notes. For more information on Mama Dragons and the podcast, you can follow us on Instagram or Facebook or visit our website at mamadragons.org.