In The Den with Mama Dragons

Transanta

• Episode 98

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Currently, young trans people are under attack across the country and around the world. Many of them continue to face rejection, persecution, and lack of support.  Transanta is an amazing organization that is showing up to help meet the needs of the young trans community in the United States. Today In the Den, Sara talks with Transanta Elf Claudia Roley to discuss the needs of trans youth and explore how you can join Transanta in meeting those needs this holiday season.  


Special Guest: Claudia Roley


Though Claudia has spent most of her life in Central and East Tennessee, she currently resides in Las Vegas with her wife, children, and dogs. Claudia is passionate about gender-affirming care and helping trans folks access gender-affirming care and name change processes. She loves to care for people and provide a safe and comfortable space, free of judgment, for people to exist as themselves and thrive in their environment to the best of their ability.


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SARA: Hi, everyone. Welcome to In The Den with Mama Dragons, a podcast and community to support, educate and empower parents on the journey of raising happy and healthy LGBTQ+ humans. I am your new host, Sara LaWall. I am a Mama Dragon myself and an advocate for our queer community and I’m so honored and excited to join this amazing podcast team and to learn and grow with all of you. Thanks for joining us. We’re so glad you’re here.

Hello, Mama Dragons community, I want to let you know that we are recording today’s episode on Nov. 7th, just two days after the election, at a time when so many of us are still processing the impact and our emotions, our uncertainty and fear, and wrestling with what this outcome could mean for our kids, for ourselves, our families, our queer beloveds and so many others we know and love. Which makes the topic of today’s episode even more important.

Now more than ever, our trans youth need our unwavering support; particularly those who are facing the additional challenges of being unhoused or in foster care. And that’s what we're talking about today. And we’re bringing our fierce joy into this conversation because joy is a part of how we hold each other up in painful times. Joy is an act of resistance. I was reading some words from tennis superstar, Venus Williams, earlier this week and shared in a reflection about what comes next, she said these words, “Continue to do the good work . . . Continue to dismantle broken systems, large and small. . . Continue to be a vessel of nourishing joy.” And that is what we are doing on the show today.

So friends, I invite you to come with me on a little journey because today we’re taking a journey to the Gay North Pole! Yes, that’s right. You heard me right, the Gay North Pole! That’s what they call themselves at Transanta. This North Pole may not be covered in snow or filled with Toys, although there probably are a few toys. But it is one filled with joy and beauty and love all year round! This is the beautiful organization known as Transanta!

Transanta is a mutual aid project that connects anonymous gift-givers with trans youth who are unhoused, in foster care, or otherwise without crucial support they need to survive. It was founded in 2020 by Indya Moore, Kyle Lasky, and Chase Strangio, and born out of this desire to center trans care, trans joy and giving at a time of escalating violence and attacks on the trans community. And today, our guest is one of many Transanta elves, Claudia Roley. But, Claudia, maybe, for today, I could call you the Head Elf, if you wish.

CLAUDIA: Just for today.

SARA: Just for today. Okay. Head Elf, Claudia Roley, just for today. Claudia has spent most of her life in middle and east Tennessee, she currently resides in Las Vegas with her wife, children and dogs. She is passionate about gender-affirming care and helping trans folks access that care and name change processes. She works to provide safe and comfortable spaces, free of judgment, for people to exist as themselves and thrive in their environments to the best of their ability. Claudia, officially, Welcome. Welcome to In the Den! We’re so glad to have you with us.

CLAUDIA: Thank you so much for having me. It’s exciting to be here.

SARA: It is exciting. I only recently learned about Transanta when someone posted about it in one of our Mama Dragons Facebook Groups. And I immediately fell in love and immediately came to the podcast team and said, “Oh please, can we do a podcast episode about this? It just spoke to me.” So I’m curious if you’ll share, how did you become involved in Transanta and how did you come to be an elf?

CLAUDIA: To what you were saying, I always kind of think more people know about it than they do. But that’s maybe in part from my own experience. I found out about it right after coming out as trans. Within the first three months, actually, I had heard about it and put in an application. I heard about it from my wife. Someone she works with was working that first year as an elf. And as I had just come out, she shared it with me. And I applied and was able to – it wasn’t the first year Transanta happened. But it was my first year, 2021. And it felt very cool to be diving into my new identity in that way and really immediately making an impact and helping people who had come to this realization in their own lives many years before I did in my own life.

SARA: Yeah. That’s beautiful. Can you tell us a little bit about, how does Transanta work exactly?

CLAUDIA: Yeah, of course. We open up our applications a month or so before we generally start posting. And to which we let youths that send in a gift registry, an image of what they want because it’s an Instagram campaign. And so we have an image that they put, usually a picture of a letter. But sometimes, a lot of youths like to do art, either digital or physical art. A lot of people will submit some pretty cool things for their images and then just a caption of what they’d like to say. Either as like an introduction to themself or a lot of people choose the caption to be where they put their letter to Santa, so to speak.

SARA: That’s great.

CLAUDIA: And so we get just a short little application that they send in, to which point the elves – with the help of our wonderful tech team – go through our review process where we make sure everything’s running properly, all the links for the different gift registries are working and functioning, and getting it ready to post on our Instagram. And since we do so many posts during the holiday season, we have to do a lot of that prep work beforehand, really going through the review process.

SARA: So your young people, they’re creating their own registries? Are they doing it on Amazon Wishlist or other platforms?

CLAUDIA: So as of now, the majority are on Amazon. And we’re looking for ways to sort of diversify that. We’re also doing Gibter wish lists this year. I don’t know if you’re familiar with that. And that has helped us especially open up globally to more places and for people who aren’t using Amazon.

SARA: Nice. So then you share their letters and their registries on the Instagram. And anyone can click and become a Santa and fulfill that particular registry?

CLAUDIA: Exactly. And so the registries are all anonymous because a lot of this is for very at-risk youth and safety is a huge priority. And so this is able to be done entirely anonymously which is one of the reasons we kind of had been with Amazon as long as we’ve been using it because of the registries there allow people to buy gifts and purchase things without seeing the address of the person they’re sending it to. And so it’s this way that we let people, anyone who’s following us on Instagram and feels moved, to anonymously purchase gifts for the youths who are just in need of some help and joy during the holiday season.

SARA: And to clarify from the introduction I gave, these are youth who are unhoused or in foster care?

CLAUDIA: That is the primary aim of what we’re trying to do, is help those in need. But it is open to anyone in need of a support system, really. There are plenty of youths that are housed, but maybe in a house that is not very affirming or where it’s not safe to be themselves. And so we are really trying to provide as much support as we can for our youths who need it, with a primary focus on people who need it the most, which would be unhoused and youth in foster care.

SARA: That’s great. That’s good to hear. So we aspiring Santas, we watch the socials and the website. When do those go live? Have they gone live yet?

CLAUDIA: They have not gone live yet. And we actually, I can’t say when. We haven’t announced when it’s going to be going live. But it will be in November and so it should be coming up soon.

SARA: Great. Well, I think by the time this airs, our listeners, it will be live and our listeners can go to those socials and websites as they’re listening even.

CLAUDIA: Beautiful

SARA: And we’ll make sure we put all of those links in our show notes, community. So those of you who want to be a Transanta this year can get right on it. And I also saw on the website, I thought this was really sweet, it made me think about my own family. I’m the Mama of a trans youth and that you can give a gift in honor of someone. So you can say, “Here’s your gift and I’m giving this in honor of my trans daughter or this other person or friend.” And I thought that’s a really neat way to kind of make connections among our trans youth, in particular, and trans community members.

CLAUDIA: Yeah. I think so because really so much of the people in need, what they’re desperately in need of the most is community. And that would solve so many of the problems that these people are facing. And I think, especially for the trans community since it’s often very dispersed and not necessarily all people coming out in the same places, it’s always so helpful to be able to have community and find community where you can.

SARA: Community, you’ve said, is an important piece of this for the trans youth. What else is the impact of this work? Why do you think it’s so important?

CLAUDIA: I think it’s so important because for so many trans youth, I mean for youth in general, just feeling seen is such a validating and important feeling. And as you’re going into adulthood, being seen and understood means the world to your mental health, your development, and how you then further move through the world as an adult. And the less you feel that you have that connection with people and are being seen, the more isolated and damaging it becomes if that idea takes root when you’re growing. So I think it’s really important and helpful for these kids to see and feel love especially if they don’t get to feel that in their day-to-day life and to know that there are loads of people out there, not only like them, but who care about them and care for their wellbeing.

SARA: Yeah. I was reading on the website. I was really struck by some of the statements from some of the youth who had been recipients of gifts. And they’re really sweet and heartwarming. And I wonder if you could read a couple of those for us?

CLAUDIA: Absolutely. Yeah. I have a couple right here that I could read.

SARA: Lovely.

CLAUDIA: We have one from an anonymous person, age 20, that they wanted to say, “I was able to get some necessity items I couldn’t afford. No one was able or willing to help me with those things except the people who donate to Transanta. And that gives me hope for myself and my future, just knowing that there’s always help somewhere.” And I like that one. And we also have one from Mary, 18, that said, “Transanta has taught me that I am not alone. That the world was created for me, for us. I am more at peace than I have ever been in my life.” And that’s kind of exactly what I was saying about how I feel what is important about it is just being able to feel that feeling of being seen.

SARA: Yeah. And hope and connection. And these are beautiful. They really bring tears to my eyes when I think about them. So I think about how important and how lovely it is that it’s because of a gift, but it isn’t about the gift. The receipt, the process is about that deep affirmation.

CLAUDIA: Yeah. Exactly. A lot of these people do need these physical items. But it’s so much more than just being able to have a physical item. It is showing that people care and want to provide you with these, in a lot of instances basic necessities, and comfort items.

SARA: Yeah. I was thinking about the necessity items that that first quote mentioned. And what I love about Transanta is that Transanta has teamed up with GoodBuy to curate a list of LGBTQIA+ owned, independent businesses so that we can use those businesses to purchase some of our gifts and it benefits Transanta. So it’s sort of a win/win situation. We can give a beautiful gift and we can benefit a small, queer-owned business, and we can benefit Transanta. That’s like a win/win/win. And there’s some really beautiful things on there. But we were talking early and I was most struck about several of the small businesses offer undergarments. And thinking about those particular necessities for trans youth, especially for those who are unhoused, especially those who are in foster care that might not be able to ask for that or might not be quite as accessible. And I wonder if you’d share a little bit about the importance of that.

CLAUDIA: Yeah. No, absolutely. Your body is one that provides some undergarments on what you’re talking about on GoodBuy. And it’s specifically gender-affirming undergarments are some of the easiest physical items that can do so much for the mental health of people, especially youth, and especially youth in places where, say, medical steps they want to take are blocked. And so just gender-affirming clothes and undergarments can make such a huge difference on how these kids feel about themselves. And when they feel better about the body they're in, they move through the world differently. And it’s such a small physical thing that creates such a huge impact from that point of origin because they carry that confidence and that joy in feeling themselves out into the world and into their interactions with other people.

SARA: Yeah. I appreciate that so much. I’ve seen that in my own life and I’ve seen that in the communities that I inhabit. And I’m also very aware that, especially in situations with at-risk youth in particular or youth who maybe aren’t in affirming homes, that they sometimes try to take matters into their own hands with binders and clothing and ways that may not be healthy or safe for their bodies. And so to be able to provide them clothing and undergarments that are designed for that purpose and designed with their health in mind feels like also really important community care for trans youth.

CLAUDIA: Of course because for the types of situations you were talking about, a lot of times it’s for these kids whatever they can get their hands on. And so it is oftentimes, maybe a binder that’s not necessarily meant for them or that they want to try and wear too often in a way that just creates a sort of unsafe situation. And so gender-affirming clothes are always, I would say one of the things that I recommend the most for people purchasing if someone’s asking for it because it just has such a huge impact for that reason. And especially if a youth isn’t sort of stuck on only having one option of something that affirms their gender. That comfort in being themselves comes from, I think, having more freedom and more options to be able to express themselves.

SARA: Thanks for sharing that recommendation. That’s really helpful so we all can follow that. And clothes are expensive.

CLAUDIA: Mm-hmm. Exactly.

SARA: Especially new clothes. So to be able to provide someone with something they really want and something that’s new and lovely, that does feel like a really beautiful gift. 

I’m curious, Claudia, if you now might share a little bit about your own story with us? From your bio, you grew up in Tennessee. You’re queer yourself. So tell us a little bit about yourself and the story of your journey.

CLAUDIA: Yeah. I definitely grew up very deep in the Presbyterian church. My dad was a preacher growing up at a relatively large church in middle Tennessee. And it was, I would say, a more conservative-leaning church and the majority of the people who went there. I will say, just before I get into too much, my dad has been wonderful about leaving those conservative beliefs behind and sort of accepting me when I did come out later. But, yeah it was growing up in the church that much because I also went to a very small school that didn’t have a building. And so it met in the church I went to. So I was at this church every day. 

SARA: Oh, my goodness. So you are a preacher's kid.

CLAUDIA: Mm-hmm.

SARA: So I’m guessing you are going to church every single Sunday.

CLAUDIA: Oh, absolutely.

SARA: Probably on Wednesday nights, weeknights too.

CLAUDIA: Mm-hmm.

SARA: And then you’re spending every single day in school in the church. Wow. That’s a lot.

CLAUDIA: So I was very familiar with that building, to say the least. I’m also adopted, I should say. And so while that’s not specifically related to me being trans, I think that me being adopted, growing up in the church and having these sort of amorphous thoughts and ideas of gender at a young age, feeling uncomfortable being able to express it or talk about it sort of just all led to me really repressing it. And so I kind of just went through my early life pretending to be a person I’m not and sort of just masking, like I’m sure a lot of people are familiar with, to sort of fit – not even necessarily what I thought the world wanted for me. I was still kind of a rebel – but still sort of present this idea of gender that I thought I could get away with and live comfortably enough in.

SARA: So what was the turning point for you? When did you come to that point where you realized, “No. This isn’t working. This isn’t me.”

CLAUDIA: Yeah. Absolutely. So I had several people in my life. I had several trans friends and people who came out during my knowing them and who we talked with about it before. And I always had this idea in my head of, “Sure, of course I wish I was born a woman. But that doesn’t mean I’m trans.” Which, of course, later come to find out, I of course was born a woman. I just didn’t know it because assigned male at birth. So one of my friends, though, who I’d known for maybe 6 years of her being out, one night she was just in town visiting with her wife who is also another trans woman. And we were just talking on my front porch one night and it was something that one of them said that really just snapped for me. They were describing this experience of their life before hormones and before coming out that there was always this sort of static or background noise going on in their brain. Just something always felt off. There was always a disconnect between their emotions and their thoughts. And it was just this background noise that they’d grown to live with and they were fine with it. But it was uncomfortable. And on coming out and on starting hormones and living her life, she just told me that this static just went away. It just melted. It dropped. There’s this sort of clarity of self for the first time in her life in this ability to see her emotions directly without this sort of veil in front of it. And it just kind of made me cry. I was like, “I relate so much to that. I need that.” And the next day, I just sort of came out to everybody just kind of all at once as I was 33 when it happened. So as I mentioned, I had a sort of tendency to repress or shy away from things. So once I had that breakdown moment, I was like, “I have to sort of tell everyone at once or I will sort of shuffle my way back into the closet.” And I was like, I’m not giving myself that opportunity.

SARA: Good for you.

CLAUDIA: I was just like jumping out of the plane, building my parachute on the way down.

SARA: Yeah. That’s good. That’s great. Did you have that similar experience of that static going away and that veil dropping away?

CLAUDIA: I really did. It’s, honestly, incredible. I’ve since had all these moments of, “Oh, wow. This is what this emotion is supposed to feel like?”

SARA: Wow.

CLAUDIA: And it’s provided such emotional clarity and depth of emotion, too, being able to live as myself. Because I think before, and this may be true for a lot of other people, when you’re sort of blocking off yourself, you don’t have full sight into each of your feelings or emotions because you don’t want to dig too deep because you know under that is the thing you’re trying to hide from yourself.

SARA: Yeah. I can definitely see that. So you’re 33. You’re coming out to everybody all at once. Are you still in Tennessee?

CLAUDIA: Yes. I am in Tennessee at this point. We are in our first house, me and my wife and our kids at that point. And it is 2021. So it’s a year and some change into COVID. I had just stopped working a more traditional job at a bread factory as a baker. And so that sort of safety of being able to be in my own home and mostly just being around family and parenting and teaching the kids, I had this sort of freedom to start feeling and expressing myself more femininely. And that was, I think, very crucial to me being able to come out was being at home all the time.

SARA: Oh, for sure. I mean, that follows the trajectory of my own kiddo really fully coming out in late 2020, early 2021 and having that time at home to, and not having to have overwhelming social interactions at the same time, I think really benefited her.

CLAUDIA: If I may be flippant for a second, I think COVID really did wonders for the trans community as far as how many of us came out.

SARA: You know, you can. It continues to be an awful disease and it was a terrible period and to name that there were some rays of light that came out of it, I think, is a good thing. So I’m curious, you said something about just realizing that your experiencing yourself in this much more holistic, deeper way when you came out. Like yourself is coming out. You are coming out to yourself, too. And I’m thinking about the stories I’ve heard from my own kiddo and in my community and from the trans beloveds that I know, who just talk about that pull, that need, that it just started to get so clear and so present. And also, it’s still kind of scary and for you to just help unpack for us holding those two realities together, but that the authentic self, kind of outweighs the fear.

CLAUDIA: Oh, Absolutely it outweighs it. But, yeah, I think no matter who you are, change of any kind to a degree is a little scary. And some people just are maybe a little more thrill junkies as far as feeling comfortable with change. But change is scary, even if it’s change you want. It’s scary because on a sort of deep biological level to humans there’s always this fear of the unknown. And so what’s scary about that change is not knowing how you’ll react to it, how the people around you will react to it. And that’s just going to be there for most people at first. And, oh my goodness, you do the benefits quickly take over that fear. And it’s just, it’s very wonderful, this feeling of when you do accept yourself and allow yourself to be yourself, the way it changes everything and your opinion on those fears. It’s like, “Well, this is actually, yeah it’s scary, but I’ve never felt this good about myself in my life and that provides more resilience for some of the fear. I mean, sometimes, unmasking, being true to yourself, can make things hurt a little deeper or hurt a little more if you exposed your true self. But the joy you get from living the identity that feels right provides so much more resilience to the tougher things in the world that it makes everything worth it.

SARA: That’s beautiful. That’s great. I’m really glad for our listeners to be able to hear that reflection from you, and I hope we’ll all take this clip and share it with people because it is so profound to hear you reflect on that in that way. Thank you. As I was listening to your story and I’m putting the connections together, did you come out while you were married, with children?

CLAUDIA: Yes. I did. Yes.

SARA: Can you talk a little bit about what that was like in your family?

CLAUDIA: Yeah. I will say, I’m very lucky. I had possibly the best way that could have gone for me. I think my wife kind of always knew. I think she could tell that I was a woman from the get-go. But sort of gave me the space to come out. So for her, it wasn’t an issue at all. She knew me well enough. She knew me deep enough that it was kind of more of a “Finally” than it was an issue. And my youngest was, they would’ve been four at the time that I did. And they were very understanding. What I felt very helpful when I was talking to them about it was the way I framed it which was a sort of, I think coming at it with younger children from an angle of, “I know I asked you to call me this as you’ve been growing up, this one name or this one title. Whoops. I got it wrong. I’m sorry. Even your parents can make mistakes. I made a mistake with that. And so here’s actually what the real situation is, what my name actually is. I want you to call me Mom.” And I think it really helped them, both of my kids, it helped them both. My oldest was much older and he’d grown up knowing trans people. So he was just like, “Oh, cool. Got it, Mom.”

SARA: That’s great.

CLAUDIA: And then my youngest, it really was just maybe a day where they kind of messed it up a few times, but would correct themself pretty quickly. And it’s just coming at it with just a sense of openness makes it a lot easier. And a lot of people think that kids won’t understand it. But it’s really, we’re the ones that have put this rigid structure of gender on them in their head. They were born without any of that. And so if we are just like, “This thing that you had in your head, this idea, it’s wrong. We were wrong about that.” I think it’s so much easier for them to, “Oh, Okay. That checks out with my understanding of the world.”

SARA: Yeah. I have found the young kids really struggle far less than the grown-ups in our world, in my life, in my family. Their little brains are like, “Oh, Okay. Makes sense.”

CLAUDIA: Absolutely. They’ve had less time of that sort of social programming of what gender is supposed to mean, big air quotes.

SARA: And what a gift for them that you have the kind of family structure where you were able to be very honest and authentic, and for them to be able to watch that in you to say, “This is who I really am.” This is so important. And to bring them along on that journey, I think what a gift in their young lives that they now have a reference point for what it means to be yourself, what it means to live authentically, and the whole thing you said about change and how we embrace change.

CLAUDIA: Exactly. And, actually, I have some really cool news. Something that happened since the booking of this podcast is that my youngest has actually come out to me as nonbinary. They just came up to me one day while I was working for Transanta. And they were reading this one sticker that’s on my computer that said, “Gender is a social construct.” And they’re like, “That reminds me. I wanted to tell you this.” And it’s just been so cool. And, if I’m going to be honest, I was a little surprised by them. I didn’t catch that from them before. We’ve always sort of raised our kids from a standpoint of gender is however you feel, whatever you feel your gender is, tell us. We want to know. We can’t tell you what it is. And they had always identified with their assigned gender at birth before. And so it was so surprising and wonderful to hear them come out to me and just share that with me. And to do it so nonchalantly too was so fun and precious that they were just like, “Oh, what’s the word? Oh, I’m nonbinary.”

SARA: That’s so good. I love it. I love the full circle moment that this is also while you were doing your Transanta work.

CLAUDIA: I know.

SARA: Did the kids participate at all with you? Are you also Santas in addition to being an elf?

CLAUDIA: The kids haven’t really participated. I’ll show them some, occasionally, some of the posts. Especially, I’m always a sucker for having the same name. So whenever I see one of the youths’ posts that has the same name as one of my kids, I will always show them and, “Look at this other kid out here.”

SARA: Oh, I’m a sucker too from that. When my daughter came out, I have a good colleague of mine who shares her name who is also a trans woman.

CLAUDIA: Oh, I love that. I love names and the way that we come to our names.

SARA: There’s just something really special about that, that I keep telling my daughter about, this reference point of like, “There’s another human in this world who shares some of your own story and your name. That’s super cool.”

CLAUDIA: Yeah. I agree. I love that. And if I’m being honest, every year I look and see if any of the youths are named Claudia. It hasn’t happened yet.

SARA: But maybe it will. It’s sweet, but I also think, what a gift that could be when you find that one, when it comes, it’s a gift for that Claudia too, to receive a gift, to have that shared experience. There’s just something really powerful about that. You spend a lot of time, then, reading through all of these letters from all of these youth, who I imagine are in some pretty rough and difficult places and spaces in their lives. Is there a story or two that really stands out for you or a letter you remember that really stands out for you?

CLAUDIA: There are a few, yeah. It is part of our goal to be helping these people in these rough situations. But, because of that, so many of them are really in pretty drastically dire situations. The ones that stand out to me are always the sort of saddest ones, if I’m being real. And some of the people that you can tell you’ve made the most impact on. It’s people who message back of any sort of gratitude or put in the little section in the application that’s, “Note to elves:” That’s just sort of that any extra information or anything that they want to say to us. Sometimes just the things that kids want to say to us, to thank us. I had someone share in that section before the direct impact that a previous years’ help had had on them and that it meant the difference to their survival. And it’s always really sad, but beautiful to hear that it meant that much and that we were able to help in such a way.

SARA: Sad that they were there. But celebratory that this thing, this small thing, made that turnaround difference for them.

CLAUDIA: Exactly.

SARA: Kept them going, kept them feeling like they could keep going. That’s a beautiful benefit and a beautiful impact. I read that all over the website in Transanta that it isn’t just Christmas. It isn’t just gift giving. It is more about showing trans youth that they’re loved and they’re supported and that they have a family of people supporting them in the world, not just in their little location, who care for them, who believe in them, who want them to succeed. And that’s the beautiful thing. That’s what attracts me most to this. Plus the joy that it’s about Santa. It gets to be, it’s taking on this character, the moniker that for some of us has such nostalgic childhood joy. And so there’s inherent joy in this. And I just noticed myself smiling to say Transanta. To say, “I’m going to be a Santa for Transanta.” That makes me feel joyful. 

CLAUDIA: Absolutely. And I think it plays with that in a fun way of making it not that Transanta is that sort of single figurehead. These Santas are everywhere. They are the people doing these donations and giving to these youths. I don’t know. I think that’s a really fun aspect on it. And I think it helps it take it away from Christmas specifically. Because even though it gets its name from a Christmas figure, it’s not a Christmas event. It’s not a Christmas campaign.

SARA: Yeah.

CLAUDIA: It is a more broad end of year and holiday campaign that is intended for people of broadly different practices.

SARA: Yes. Definitely. You can definitely feel that. I like that. It makes it more diffuse and it makes it more personal.

CLAUDIA: Exactly.

SARA: It’s part of the Transanta name it goes along with this idea of diverse identity, you know. It’s true in the world. It’s true for all in the youth that Transanta is supporting. And it’s true for all of the Santas that are participating. There’s so many different humans and embodiments of this character or this title, I guess. 

I like to end my conversations with the same set of questions for every guest because I think it’s just kind of interesting to hear the different answers from different people. And so the first question is, who is inspiring you today? Whose work are you following? Who should we know about?

CLAUDIA: Okay. This is actually kind of cool. I get to have a unique experience of saying the person who cracked my egg, so to speak, the person that convinced me to come out and she is an author. You might now her pen name, Meredith Russo. She is the author of “If I was Your Girl.” And multiple other wonderful books. But I would like to shout her out because she’s really been a huge part of my life and my identity and is really just sort of paved the way for me to be who I am and really likes to focus on Trans joy.

SARA: Awesome. That’s fantastic. Shout out to Meredith Russo. I love that because now we’ve been introduced to Meredith and so we can all go and look up her work. Here’s question number two: The Mama Dragons name comes out of this idea of fierceness and fierce protection for our kids at whatever age, for our queer kids. And so like to ask guests, what are you fierce about?

CLAUDIA: Honestly, something I’m very fierce about is gender expression and just being able to explore it. The younger the better. And I just think people need to be able to know themselves deep enough so that the person that they are in the world is genuine. And I think people are going to really struggle to have genuine connection without genuine understanding of themselves. So I am pretty fierce in the defense of children’s autonomy and just the right to express themselves how they want to.

SARA: Yes. That’s fantastic. Thank you for reminding us in the Mama Dragons community what a powerful gift that can be for our own kids. So my last question to you, Claudia, is we're going to wrap it up and bring it on this theme of joy. So, in addition to Transanta, what is bringing you joy?

CLAUDIA: As always, every day of the year what brings me joy is my wonderful and supportive wife and my family. I am finding joy in – my oldest lives with his dad which isn’t out here in Vegas with us. We don’t see him as much as I want to. But I’m going to be seeing him soon and we are all going to get a nice picture of us all in matching pajamas and I’m very excited about that. My family is something else that brings me joy.

SARA: I love the, my family in matching pajamas. It’s just a reminder of the little things in our lives to hold on. Little things like matching pajamas can bring us just enough joy for us to hold on in any given moment.

CLAUDIA: Oh, yeah. I’m such a dork about matching and I'm so lucky that everyone else in my family likes to match too. So we all get to be dorks in that one specific way together.

SARA: I can’t wait to hear about the matching pajamas or whatever you choose. There’s so many options out there. So that sounds like such a fun experience for the whole family and joyful in just celebrating the goofiness of everybody in the same pajamas is wonderful. I think that's great.

CLAUDIA: Yeah. Absolutely.

SARA: Enjoy that. Well, Claudia, I can’t thank you enough for joining me today and having this beautiful conversation, for all of the work that you do with Transanta as Head Elf for today.

CLAUDIA: Very important, just for today. I don’t want to make any other Head Elves.

SARA: Very important other elves, you are wonderful too and this was my title for Claudia just for today. But thanks for sharing that work with us and exposing our community to that. I can’t wait until those letters go live and me and my kiddo and my family can become Santas. I’m really looking forward to that.

CLAUDIA: Yeah. I’m so grateful for this opportunity and just for getting to see this community that you have here. It’s very exciting and I’m so happy to be able to come in and talk about my favorite thing.

SARA: Thank you. And also, Claudia, thank you for sharing your own beautiful story with us, too. I always appreciate hearing people’s journeys and hearing people’s stories, particularly coming out stories. There’s something about them that makes me feel connected to a larger community to hear more and more of those stories. So Thanks for sharing that with us today.

CLAUDIA: No. Of course. Thank you. Ever since coming out, I found out I like talking about myself now.

SARA: Awesome.

CLAUDIA: So it was a wonderful opportunity to.

SARA: Excellent. All right. Thanks so much.

CLAUDIA: Yeah. Thank you.

SARA: Thanks so much for joining us here In The den. Did you know that Mama Dragons also offers an eLearning program called Parachute? Through this interactive learning platform, you can learn more about how to affirm, support, and celebrate the LGBTQ+ people in your life. Learn more at mamadragons.org/parachute. Or find the link in the episode show notes under links.

If you enjoyed this episode, we hope you’ll take a moment to tell your friends, and leave us a positive rating and review wherever it is you listen. Good reviews make us more visible and help us reach more folks who could benefit from being part of this community. And if you’d like to help Mama Dragons in our mission to support, educate, and empower the parents of LGBTQ+ children, please donate at mamadragons.org or click the donate link in the show notes. For more information on Mama Dragons and the podcast, you can follow us on Instagram or Facebook or visit our website at mamadragons.org.

 

 



People on this episode

Head Shot

Sara LaWall

Host
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Jen Blair

Producer