Trans Kids, Our Kids

We have all been watching the unprecedented attacks on trans healthcare for youth and adults by anti-trans extremists from the local to the federal levels. The trans legislation tracker reports an alarming 857 anti-trans bills under consideration in 2025 alone. Many of us, our kids, and our families find ourselves caught in the eye of this storm. Today In the Den, Sara sits down with special guest Alexis Stratton of The Campaign for Southern Equality to discuss the book that Stratton co-authored called Trans Kids, Our Kids: Stories and Resources from the Frontlines of the Movement for Transgender Youth. They explore the importance of supporting and loving and affirming the trans community, and they talk about what we can do to help. 

Special Guest: Alexis Stratton

Alexis Stratton has an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of South Carolina, and their stories and essays have appeared in Hayden’s Ferry Review, Matador Review, and Oyez Review, among other publications. In 2024, they co authored Trans Kids, Our Kids: Stories and Resources from the Frontlines of the Movement for Transgender Youth with Adam Polaski and Jasmine Beach-Ferrara (Ig Publishing), and in 2025, their book of travel essays, Eating Turtle, was published with Small Harbor Publishing. Alexis has also written for the Rebel Girls book series and podcast and provides grant writing support to several LGBTQ+ nonprofits. Before transitioning to writing full-time, Alexis educated organizations in South Carolina on LGBTQ+ rights, violence prevention, and serving marginalized populations. They live in Richmond, VA.

Links from the Show:

• Kin*dom Camp Community: https://kindomcommunity.org/home 
• Kin*dom Campfire Chats:  https://kindomcommunity.org/podcast
• Find Trans Kids, Our Kids in the Mama Dragons Bookshop: https://bookshop.org/p/books/trans-kids-our-kids-stories-and-resources-from-the-frontlines-of-the-movement-for-transgender-youth-jasmine-beach-ferrara/21195291?ean=9781632461674&next=t&aid=108866&listref=parenting-an-lgbtq-child&next=t 
• Trans Youth Emergency Project: https://southernequality.org/tyep/ 
• QMed Website: https://queermed.com/ 
• Join Mama Dragons today: www.mamadragons.org 

In the Den is made possible by generous donors like you. Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today at www.mamadragons.org

Transcript

SARA: Hi everyone. Welcome to In the Den with Mama Dragons. A podcast and community to support, educate, and empower parents on the journey of raising happy and healthy LGBTQ+ humans. I’m your host, Sara LaWall. I’m a Mama Dragon myself and an advocate for our queer community. And I’m so glad to be part of this wild and wonderful parenting journey with all of you. Thanks for joining us. We’re so glad you’re here.

We have all been watching with great alarm the unprecedented attacks on trans healthcare for youth and adults by anti-trans extremists both at the state and federal level. The trans legislation tracker now reports an alarming 857 anti-trans bills under consideration in 2025 alone. And many of us, our kids and our families, find ourselves caught in the eye of this storm experiencing the frustration and anxiety of having to figure out how to access care for our trans youth in this climate. It can be a daily struggle, and it can feel very lonely.

But the Campaign for Southern Equality has been working and fighting on the frontlines of LGBTQ+ Equality since 2011. And they’ve stepped up their specific support of the trans community in the wake of these increased attacks with the Trans Youth Emergency Project, which helps families of trans youth across the country access gender-affirming care despite health care bans. 

And just last fall, they published a beautiful book called, Trans Kids, Our Kids: Stories and Resources from the Frontlines of the Movement for Transgender Youth. This book is amazing, friends. Let me tell you, it takes readers inside the movement for transgender youth, it shares stories that will open your eyes and break your heart, but also give you hope. And for those of us facing the same struggles in our own lives, I will say this book is a balm for your soul. It is such a beautiful reminder that we are not alone and that there are other families, and parents, and kids, and doctors, and lawyers, and advocates fighting every day to protect trans kids, helping them live happy, healthy, authentic lives. 

This book was a collaborative effort co-written by Alexis Stratton, Adam Polaski, and Jasmine Beach-Ferrara and we are so lucky to have one of those authors with us In The Den today! Alexis Stratton, welcome! It is so great to talk to you.

ALEXIS: Thank you. It’s so great to be here.

SARA: I want to tell folks a little bit more about you specifically. Alexis has an MFA in Creative Writing from the University of South Carolina, and their stories and essays have appeared in numerous publications. They recently published a book of travel essays called, Eating Turtle. It sounds very interesting. I definitely want to check that out. And they’ve also written for the Rebel Girls book series and podcast and provides grant writing support to several LGBTQ+ nonprofits.

Before we dive in with questions and a conversation. I just want to tell you that how, as a parent of a trans youth, how much reading this book has meant to me, particularly in these times. The stories are so heartfelt and so tender and so beautifully written. I think I have cried at every single one. And I just feel really grateful to have learned about so many amazing professionals, medical professionals and attorneys and others in a region of the country – with which I am not very familiar. I am quite far away – and tireless advocates. And I’ve just loved it. So I’m really excited to be able to share it with our Mama Dragons community and talk about it together today.

ALEXIS: Amazing. I’m so honored to hear that. I think that one of the reasons we wrote this book is because we felt that if people just knew the stories of these families and what they’re going through and of advocates who are doing the work and faith communities who are doing the work, that their hearts and minds might open a little bit. And also, I think one of the things that we’ve encountered throughout the writing process and our book tour is that we are encountering so many folks like you, who are parents of trans kids, who have trans siblings, that just feel seen and heard through these stories and feel like they can relate to them and know that they’re not alone. I think we all need a lot more of these, these days.

SARA: Absolutely. I’m curious what drew you to the project and if you can share a little bit about how the idea was born for the book?

ALEXIS: Yeah for sure. I’d love to start with how the book was born because I think that that can lead into my role in it and why I said yes. In late 2023, Jasmine Beach-Ferrara – one of the co-authors and also the executive director of Campaign for Southern Equality – was approached by Igg Publishing, a publisher in Brooklyn. Robert Lasner is the leader of it. And he wrote an email to Jasmine and said, “Hey, I’ve heard about the important work that the Campaign for Southern Equality is doing with trans youth. I read an article about y’all in the New Yorker.” Robert had worked with Jasmine in the past when Jasmine wrote a fiction collection of short stories, ten or so years ago. And Robert was like, “I think everyone needs to know these stories about trans youth. Do you know anyone who could write a book about trans youth and what they’re experiencing right now?” And Jasmine was like, “Boy, do I.” And so Jasmine also has an MFA in Creative Writing. And she reached out to me to possibly be a co-author. She reached out to Adam Polaski, who is the Director of Campaign for Southern Equality’s communications program. And we all said yes. So that was the, I think Jasmine received the email in October of 2023. We finalized our little dream team in December of 2023 and Jasmine asked me, “How long do you think you would need to write this with us? What kind of timeline do you think we should give Robert?” And I looked at my calendar and looked at our outline and I was like, “I think we could probably have a draft to him by July or August of 2024.” And so she wrote to Robert, and Robert wrote back and said, “How about April 2024?” And I, to myself, thought, “Oh well, that’s four months. We could do that.” This was in December. And then, January Alexis was really frustrated with December Alexis because by the time January rolled around, Adam and Jasmine and I looked at each other and we were like, “What have we agreed to?” So the project really started in earnest in late January 2024 between January 2024 and April 15th, we interviewed 50 different people in 19 different states, wrote a 65,000 word book and sent it to the publisher. We had a short editing and proofreading process that took about a month. And then we sent it to print. So it was quite a fast turnaround time. It came out in September of 2024. And Adam, one of my co-authors, really likes to talk about it being a snapshot in time. A snapshot of what the world was like for trans youth and their families in early 2024 and that it’s important – part of the reason why we and the publisher wanted to have a fast turnaround time is that we need these stories out there now. And we don’t want to get to a place where these anti-trans laws are commonplace. And it’s common for, and understood that half of the country has access to care that the other half doesn’t. And that’s just okay. And so we knew that these stories needed to come out sooner rather than later. And I delightedly said yes to join the project despite the tight timeline because Jasmine’s a wonderful leader. And when Jasmine says that she has an idea, then I want to jump and say yes to it because she unfailingly leads us in the right direction. And, also, I’m nonbinary. I use they/them pronouns and I’m married to a nonbinary spouse and we have really delightful 11-year-old nonbinary kiddo. And so I wanted to be part of this project so that we could tell stories that would make the world better for my kid when they’re grown up. However they end up identifying, I want the world to be a safer, more welcoming, more affirming place. And I’m hoping through this and our ongoing work – the ongoing work I do with LGBTQ+ organizations – that we can make that world possible.

SARA: Wow. That is the fastest turnaround time for a book I think I have ever heard about. But thank you. No wonder it took three of you to make it happen. I don’t know how one person would’ve been able to accomplish all of that.

ALEXIS: No.

SARA: But it does feel really, really relevant and really really important in this moment. It’s not so far in the past that it’s already out of sync with what’s happening. Gosh, what a great story. So you did all of these interviews and you put this book together. But how did you decide the structure of the book? As I’m reading it there’s something about it, it has a little bit of chronology to it that starts with the early days as anti-trans health care legislation was just starting to kind of pop up and get talked about, maybe just barely introduced.

ALEXIS: So part of that’s about process and part of that’s about what we think a story is and what stories we want to tell and how we want to tell them. So in terms of process, most of the book was written over two, week-long writer’s retreats that Campaign for Southern Equality hosted for us in Asheville. We had a couple colleagues who joined us to help us with the editing and thought partnerships. Carolyn Jones and Liz Williams, the latter of which was also our cover designer. And as we moved into this process in late January, we started having weekly team meetings with Carolyn, Liz, Adam, me and Jasmine. And together, we talked about what stories were relevant at this time, and what contacts we had, and who we might interview. So we started brainstorming that way and then began grouping things together stories that we thought might be relevant together, that might live together in the same chapter. During the writer’s retreat, Adam and I and our writing team, who were all there, we had these giant sticky notes like the kind you get on easel pads. And we just put Chapter ? And then put several people together and then put it on the wall. And then we’d move stuff around and think about what went where. And then cross someone off here, and say they’d go better over here. So we had this very physical process that we went through while we were examining what the structure we wanted. And I remember talking with the team about – I’m a grant writer and so I think grants are stories and they’re stories of an organization and they’re stories of the needs of the community and what the organization is doing to meet those needs. I read an amazing book about how grants are kind of like fairy tales in that you have the big monster, which is the problem, and then you have the hero, who’s this organization, and then you have etcetera, etcetera. And you want to show how the organization slays the dragon – no offense Mama Dragons. So we love dragons. But I think when I’ve done trainings about it I’ll talk about how we tame the dragons, how we befriend the dragons, how we change the dragons. So I was thinking about that as we were writing it and what is the need statement? What are people doing to address that? I think about that arc a lot, right. So the beginning, the first quarter of the book really sets up the families impacted by the gender-affirming care bans, the healthcare providers and lawyers who are trying to manage these gender-affirming care bans and other anti-trans legislation, and how hard it is and what a challenge it is. And I feel like the second half of the book is really about – in addition to some stuff we get in the first half like some families that are trying to stand up against this anti-trans legislation and then the faith communities that are creating spaces for support, and the advocates who, that despite all odds and vandalism, and whatever else they might be going through, are still making safe spaces for LGBTQ+ folks. So that’s what I think about the structure. You really set up, this is the problem and what are we doing about it? And we, early in the book tour, someone told me, “I was really afraid to read this book because I thought it would just be 100% sad all the time.” Because it is, it’s really sad. It’s a hard time. But he said, “I was just so glad that you put so much hope in this book and put so much resilience.” And so for me, the heart of the book is this hope and resilience and this courage to be oneself and the communities that are making that possible. And so we really wanted readers to finish the book knowing how much love and care is out there and how many people support them and want them to live and thrive.

SARA: Yeah. I mean, it is sad because it is such a terrible struggle and the attacks just keep growing. And yet every story ended with such a hopeful moment or such a beautiful moment of connection. Just reading parents and doctors and attorneys and parents who were like, “Once we got the care, it was amazing. And affirming that transformation and affirming the wellbeing of trans youth.” So, despite the sadness, I also felt that affirmation. And I was really struck at the beginning of the book by the story of Izzy who founded QMed. And I wonder if you would share a little bit of that story with us.

ALEXIS: Yeah. I was so delighted to be able to interview Izzy and tell some of her story. Izzy is the founder of QMed which is a medical organization that’s really dedicated to providing care for LGBTQ+ folks. It originated in Georgia, in Atlanta and Decatur, and came out of Izzy’s desire to address a need that she saw through other work that she had done. And she launched QMed before COVID-19 hit and launched it as a telehealth company that also provided some in-person care in Decatur. And she thought, “This is kind of revolutionary to go mostly tele-health and to do this kind of work.” And she thought, “So many healthcare organizations and providers are becoming more LGBTQ+ friendly. There’s more resources out there than ever. Probably, I’ll run QMed for a few years and then be put out of business by these groups that are doing this good work and then I’ll do something else.” And then all of these gender-affirming care bans happened and then it became harder and harder to access care and now, under the Trump Administration there are all kinds of threats to trans healthcare for adults and youth. And so I think QMed is in more demand than ever. And it’s so interesting to see that journey. QMed has expanded exponentially to meet the needs of folks around the country. And Izzy would tell me these stories about patients who would have a gender-affirming care ban in some state in the south and would only be able to access care when they were on their layover in Boston because Boston is a safe state, where we can get that care. And so it wouldn’t be illegal for Izzy to provide that care. And then they’d have to find some other way to get their meds later. That kind of thing. Or a story about talking to a family in a car that was just across the state line into a state where you could get gender-affirming care for youth still and having to get their prescription filled in that state and worrying about what would happen and then going back to the state where there’s a ban. So QMed has been super heroic. At their office in Decatur, they experienced an arson attack. And their building was burned. There was some hateful graffiti scrawled. And Izzy approached her staff and was like, “It’s a really hard time right now. I will not fault any of you if you need to step back.” And every single one of them was like, “No. we have to keep doing this.” And they have.

SARA: But they’re still providing the telehealth?

ALEXIS: When I talked with Izzy in early 2024 and, I think into mid 2024, they had still not reopened their office in Decatur but I’m not sure if they’ve restarted work there or not. They’ve just gone all virtual.

SARA: That is such a story. The irony of thinking, “Oh, this is so mundane I probably won’t have to do it very long” is really telling. But also, she’s not the only medical provider in the book who talks about gender-affirming care is just so simple. It isn’t a big deal. It is about the simplest possible medical care that someone can provide. And it’s just wild to read those words.

ALEXIS: Absolutely.

SARA: To hear doctors and medical professionals say that while also reading the stories of the hoops and the process and projects families are going through to just try to get a prescription.

ALEXIS: We talked to Dr. Jennifer Abbott who works in western North Carolina and she started working in gender-affirming care as part of her family medicine work and primary care profession. And the first trans patient she encountered, she was like, “I don’t know if I can do this. I’m not trained in this. I don’t know what to do.” But the patient just brought in all of this best-practice information from WPATH and was like, “You can do this.” And so Dr. Abbott educated herself and then was like, “I can do this. This is simple medicine. It is just the kind of thing that someone should be able to get on a primary care visit. It’s just this really simple treatment. It’s not like people coming in unwillingly. It’s not people that you really have to cajole into doing the care that’s appropriate for them. These are folks who adhere to their medication and want this.” And she just talked about how absurd it was as a provider to have, essentially, the government telling her to work against best-practices. So there are providers who determine what the best-practices are, etcetera. And then they share that information. And it was really frustrating for her to have the state government tell her that what she knew to be a best practice, wasn’t.

SARA: And I think it was Dr. Abbott’s story too where she also shares that how heartbreaking it is as a provider to see treatment, evidence-based treatment that’s working, that you said patients are asking for, are thriving on, and to have to walk away from offering that care from a patient goes against everything that they are taught in terms of what it means to provide basic standard care. And that was really heartbreaking to read.

ALEXIS: Yeah. Absolutely. Any of the medical professionals we talked to, and the parents talked about how either socially transitioning or accessing medical care that affirms a trans kid’s identity can just help the children bloom. There are multiple stories of, “This kid used to be shy and quiet and not speak up in class or not do whatever. And then they were affirmed in who they were as a trans person with their names and their pronouns. And eventually maybe accessing care if a doctor determined that that was appropriate for them. And then they would just thrive. They would be outspoken or they would have a bright affect the next time they came into their appointment.” And so, there’s that anecdotal evidence that we heard from so many people. But then, again, gender-affirming care for trans youth and for trans adults is supported by so many major medical institutions across the United States. And I think it’s frustrating for people who work with and provide care to trans youth to see that being taken away.

SARA: Yeah. And over and over again in all the stories, you hear the refrain of, “It is life-saving care. It saved my life. It saved my child’s life.” And it’s just extraordinary to think that it is being so dismissed. Was there a story that you found particularly difficult when you were writing?

ALEXIS: I’ll have to think about that. I think a lot of the challenge in writing this book in early 2024 is that more gender-affirming care bans were passing as we were writing it. And so we kept having to change the numbers. First we were like, 23 states or whatever it was. And then the next month it would 24 states passed gender-affirming care bans for transgender youth. And then there was a section where we said, “Every state in the south except for Virginia and South Carolina have passed gender-affirming care bans.” And in the proofreading stage, in May or June, we had to change that to only Virginia because South Carolina passed a ban. So it was really challenging to see history kind of unfolding as we were writing the book and just seeing those numbers go up and up. At our book events I often read one of the first stories or the first story in the book which is about Lauren and Lydia trying to access care in another state and driving through a snowstorm. And having to deal with already changed care several times to get access for this kid to gender-affirming care. And I think those stories are hard because parents are just trying to do right by their kids. And there are so many obstacles that are in their way. And it just feels incredibly unfair, the attacks against trans youth and their families. And there was more than one occasion we were interviewing a parent of a trans kid and we all just started crying at whatever story they were telling because it’s so heart-wrenching that these parents love and accept their kids – which not all kids get – and yet they’re still having to struggle against a system that won’t let them, again, follow these best practices. And so I think that parents are scared that their kids are going to get depressed or anxious or attempt suicide because there’s such high rates of suicidality among trans youth. And, again, that’s not because trans youth are inherently depressed or suicidal. It’s because the world around them is telling them that they shouldn’t be here. And that’s a really hard, hard hill to climb up, from every side except maybe your family, people are telling you to not be who you are, that you’re not okay, or that you shouldn’t be the way you are. And so that rate drops significantly when there is a supportive parent or adult in a kid’s life. And they’re much more likely to thrive, and so I think parents know that. And so when they see this devastating amount of anti-trans animus around the country or in the government, it’s just really hard for them because they want their kids to survive and thrive and we do too.

SARA: Yeah. And it’s even some of your stories I found really beautiful. Even when there were parents who themselves were still figuring it out and learning and trying to understand, they were simultaneously that parental instinct is real like, “I will do whatever it takes to get you care, even if I don’t quite understand it yet.” And that was really heartening to read those parents who were just like, “I’m doing it.”

ALEXIS: Right. It’s a journey. And I think sometimes culturally we don’t give parents or families space for that journey in a way that’s unfair. I think that sometimes it takes time to adjust to a new name or pronouns. And it’s not because you don’t love your kid or you don’t affirm who they are. It’s just hard to break habits sometimes. But as long as you’re trying, and trying to show that respect, I think that’s important. And I remember one of the people we interviewed for the book – his name’s Ashton, he’s a trans young man – he came to our event in Boston to speak on our panel at a bookstore at a book event that we did there. And he was talking about how his mom initially was so much more affirming than his dad and it was hard to connect with his dad and his dad didn’t get it. Because it was still a safe relationship. It wasn’t harmful in any kind of way. Over time, his father’s finally come to accept him for who he is and love him for who he is and is a more prominent part of his life now. But that process for Ashton took ten years. And so sometimes it takes time. But despite that, I think it’s really important that there is at least one parent who’s supportive or someone is supporting that kid. But I was honored to hear that Ashton was patient – which, not everybody can be. Again, it’s not always safe – but he made that space and his father was able to grow into it. And I think we all have the capacity to grow. We all have the capacity to learn new things. And if we allow ourselves to learn new things, we might be more open and welcoming to people who might be different than us or what we expect them to be.

SARA: Yeah. That’s a really important lesson, I think, for all us as parents at any moment in our parenting journey, right? There’s so much we’re confronted with that invites us to be a little more open and learn a little more. I already mentioned how deeply comforting I found the book. Have you heard from other families about what this book has meant for them?

ALEXIS: One of the most touching things was that, at every book tour stop we went last year – we went on a 15 city book tour around the country – and at almost every book tour stop, there was at least one person who stood up, often in tears, saying, “I’m a parent of a trans kid. I’m just so glad you’re here. I’m so glad you’re doing this. I’m so glad you’re telling these stories because out here in Texas, or South Carolina, we feel so alone.” Or “I didn’t know there was a community like this that would care for and support us. And so it was so beautiful to hear that kind of affirmation from people and hear those stories. And it was so lovely in those event spaces to connect people to local LGBTQ+ organizations or PFLAG or whomever that would be able to support them. So often, someone would say that. “I’m the parent of a trans kid. I didn’t know etcetera, etcetera.” And then someone at the corner of the room will be like, “I work for whatever, come join us.” Or “Talk to me afterwards and I’ll point you towards this support group.” Or something like that. And it was just so lovely to see that and experience that.

SARA: That’s beautiful. I love to hear that. And I think, because sometimes in this parenting journey, especially parents of trans kids, you can get tunnel vision. You can just get so hyper-focused on your kids and the next appointment and the next thing and the next thing that, even if your brain knows there are people in groups out there, you’re just not interacting in those spaces. And then to finally meet them and see them, I think really has been really helpful for me and I’ve seen it be helpful for a lot of other parents. I was really delighted to read the chapter that was all about faith communities and clergy who are deeply invested in supporting and advocating for the queer community and for trans youth. I think in that chapter you profile a Presbyterian, a Lutheran, a Rabbi, a Baptist, a Unitarian Universalist. And I know many of our Mama Dragons have come out of more conservative traditions who are not doing that kind of radical welcoming and affirming work. And I think it can be surprising, still, for people that that kind of space exists in the religious sphere. Was it surprising for you?

ALEXIS: It was not surprising for me. I am a person of faith. And even before I came out as queer and then later as nonbinary, I specifically was going to an LGBTQ+ affirming church in New Orleans at the time when I lived there. It was a Methodist church. And it was such an incredible space of warmth and welcome. And at that time, I wasn’t out. So I had LGBTQ+ friends and that was important to me that a space would be welcoming to them. And then to move through that and come out myself, in so many ways, it was even more important. One early part of my journey in my 20s was finding that affirming congregation. And then specifically seeking that out as I was coming out as well. So I grew up United Methodist. I attended that affirming Methodist church called Saint Marks in New Orleans. I went to Reformation Lutheran Church that’s featured in the book in Columbia, South Carolina. I went to an affirming American Baptist church when I lived in Denver.

SARA: That’s great.

ALEXIS: And so I’ve lived in a lot of these affirming spaces and different denominations. And so I remember thinking when I lived in South Carolina that people say the church is X, Y, Z, and mostly X, Y, Z means we don’t welcome LGBTQ+ folks. But I’ve seen the radical opposite throughout a lot of my young-adulthood and now adulthood. I’m in my 40s. And so I was really glad when we decided to do a faith chapter because it’s such an important part of my journey and who I am. I'm a quaker now. I just live in all the denominations. And I go to an affirming quaker church. And so I was just so happy to be able to tell those stories and to kind of show people the flip side. Again, so many people think that, especially Christian spaces will reject you for being LGBTQ+ but that’s not true across the board and I think there’s so many loud and proud and affirming communities of faith that I wanted folks to know that. And I wanted trans people of faith to know that there were spaces that could be out there for them if they wanted it. So I love that chapter. It’s one of my favorites. I loved talking to all these faith leaders. I love talking to folks in different religions and denominations. And one of my favorite pieces in that chapter is this affirming camp for LGBTQ+ youth.

SARA: Oh, yes. Tell us that story. I was going to ask you about Kin-Dom Camp.

ALEXIS: Kin-Dom Camp is a camp specifically for LGBTQ+ youth. It’s affirming. It lives in Texas, as well as now some other places. It originated in Texas. It is incredible. And those came out of Presbyterian New Worshiping community that wanted to create this space for LGBTQ+ youth of faith where they could be themselves and bring their whole selves. And then, eventually, has since transformed to welcome people of all different faiths or no faiths, and is this beautiful, safe, affirming place for LGBTQ+ youth to go to summer camp. And where they don’t need to worry about the girls bunk or the boys bunk. Or they don’t need to worry about how they have to dress or what pronouns people use because they get to write a name tag every day where they write their name and their pronouns and their counselors try to keep up with it.

SARA: Well, I love that entire story. It just made me so happy. But then, reading that they’ve put it into their practice that you make a nametag every day, which allows young people who maybe are on the very beginning part of their coming-out journey to try on new names and try on pronouns and hear how it feels and sounds. That is such a beautiful practice.

ALEXIS: It’s so beautiful. And it’s led by leaders and counselors who are also LGBTQ+ or at the least affirming. And it’s just so amazing. I think one of the hard parts, though, is we invited some Kin-Dom Camp staff members to join us for our book tour stops in Texas. And they had wonderful and delightful things to say. And also, the state laws continued to impact them because they cannot provide trans-related medical care to youth at their camps. So they can't make sure that they’re administered the appropriate hormones or puberty blockers that they might have during that week at camp. And so they have to make a special note to them that they cannot provide this. And so if they’re going to come to camp, then they might have to make other arrangements and things like that. And they hated to have to tell their campers that. But they had to abide by the local laws in order to stay in operations and because they want to stay in operation. But it still impacts who they can carry out their work. At the same time, there are several Kin-Dom Camps opening in other states across the country and so there is a hope that if a kid can’t access one of them, that they might be able to access one in a state where the laws are a bit more supportive. Although, I think it’s interesting, Kin-Dom Camp is trying to open in states that are less affirming in order to get kids those resources and get kids these safe spaces. And so they’re kind of doing that purposely. But it’s hard to operate such a space under these laws. But they still try the best they can to make a space that is as welcoming as possible.

SARA: That is amazing. I’m delighted to hear they’re opening more camps across the country. We’ll make sure to put a link to the Kin-Dom Camp Community in our show notes so folks can go and look at that. I was just thinking in states like Texas, and unfortunately there are far too many who are just really clamping down and passing some really terrible laws, anti-trans laws, and anti-LGBTQ+ laws. To be a young person and to be able to go to a camp where the majority of your fellow campers, your counselors, your staff, is queer, has got to be a transformative experience for young people who live so deeply in these states that are really trying to put up all kinds of walls and barriers and just really suggest that the queer community shouldn’t and doesn’t exist.

ALEXIS: There’s a really beautiful story that John Leedy, the executive director of Kin-Dom Camp pointed me to. And Kin-Dom Camp has their own podcast. You can check it out. I think it’s called Campfire Conversations. But I’ll have to double check and have you drop that in the program notes. And in one of those conversations, I was able to pull part of it for that chapter to talk about in that chapter. And in one of those conversations, a trans camper talks about that he was planning to end his life and that his mom convinced him to go to this camp. And he had thought about going to this camp so that he could end his life while he was there, and not do it where his mom would find him. And he talked about, in this conversation, he did not end his life. He got to this camp and he saw rainbow flags everywhere and he saw affirming camp counselors and he saw all these things that the Kin-Dom camp put in place to make a space feel safe and welcoming. And he saw a trans man who was a counselor and was married to a woman. And he saw that he could live and be a grown-up trans person and thrive like the people who were around him. And that is part of what convinced him to keep going. And I think that that’s a really incredible testament to the kind of work that Kin-Dom camp does and that these safe spaces provide to help give young trans people an example of trans adults because we don’t always get to see that. And to give an example of LGBTQ+ folks who are thriving in healthy community and relationships. And it’s a real gift that safe spaces can give to LGBTQ+ youth is that there are ways to thrive and that we want them to become trans adults.

SARA: Yeah. That’s an incredible, powerful story. And I hear that sentiment expressed a lot from fellow parents that I’m in spaces with. I was just in a parent support group yesterday and hearing parents talk about how meaningful it is for them to see successful trans adults on social media and posting, and how often they go to those spaces to just be affirmed that there are people who are thriving. There are trans and queer folks who are thriving and that is such a positive example for trans youth.

ALEXIS: Yeah.

SARA: So I wonder if you can tell us a little bit, we’re going to kind of go back to the beginning here a little bit. For those who might not be totally familiar with the Campaign for Southern Equality, can you share a little bit more about the umbrella of their work and then specifically about the Trans Youth Emergency Project?

ALEXIS: The Campaign for Southern Equality is a regional LGBTQ+ organization that primarily focuses on creating legal and lived equality in the US South. They’re based in Asheville. And they have staff that are around The South and beyond and an array of programs, from grassroots advocacy, to the Trans Youth Emergency Project we’re talking about, to healing and resilience workshops and programs, to community research and community health trainings, and all sorts of things. So they do such a wide array and vast amount of work. Another key program that they have is the Southern Equality Fund where they provide grants and supports to frontline organizations and LGBTQ+ folks. For example, I’m doing the COVID 19 Pandemic, they provided emergency assistance grants to LGBTQ+ across The South who were impacted by COVID. And they continue to respond to emerging needs. One of those emerging needs is the challenges faced by trans youth and their families as gender-affirming care bans have passed across The South. The Trans Youth Emergency Project was launched in 2023 and initially it was launched as a rapid response program that we thought might be sunsetted in a little bit once some of these bills were beat back. But it has grown into a core fixture of our work and through it we provide education, grants, and patient navigation to trans families, parents of trans youth, trans youth and their families across the country and anywhere where there has been a state ban that’s been put in place. We also have been responding to the executive order that Trump created that limits care for trans youth under 19 for any institution that’s federally funded, they are not supposed to provide trans-affirming care, gender-affirming care for trans youth. And so through the Trans Youth Emergency Project, we also tried to help youth and their families who were impacted by that in states that didn’t have bans. So, for example, NYU for a time was shutting down its gender-affirming care for trans youth. And it happened here in Virginia. Virginia Commonwealth University shut down their gender-affirming care for trans youth for the time because they were afraid that they would not get any more federal funding. So those challenges continue to arise and we work to continue to meet those challenges. We continue to meet those challenges any time that an anti-trans bill is passed into law or any time one of these policies comes into being.

SARA: That’s great. It’s unfortunate that we are still growing in need in that regard. But I’m grateful in particular and just want to emphasize for folks, we’ll put the Trans Youth Emergency Project web link in our show notes, too. But it is for families across the country, not just in The South.

ALEXIS: Correct. It is the Campaign for Southern Equality’s first national program. And we just wanted to make sure that no one was left out and there weren’t other people at the time that were stepping up. And so I feel like our staff was just like, “Well, surely, surely this national organization is going to do something. Surely this group is going to do something.” And we were like, “No. We’re the ones we’ve been waiting for. We’re going to do it.” And so we’ve just kept expanding as need has arisen to try to provide care.

SARA: That’s great. I have referred many a family to the project and have heard some really good stories of some support that they’ve been able to receive and some financial assistance for accessing all kinds of different needs in the process of accessing care. In this current moment with the growing number of anti-trans bills and in the federal government – that I sort of want to honor that as you all were writing, it was probably difficult to forecast this is where we’d be in 2025 – so what strategies are you all seeing or using or talking about as being effective in resisting these kinds of attacks and in protecting trans youth?

ALEXIS: You are right. We wrote this book in early 2024. And one of the reasons the publisher wanted it to come out in September was he wanted it to come out before the election. Not thinking we’d sway larger numbers of people to support trans folks, but that it was important that people were talking about this and paying attention to this before the presidential election. Our book tour started in September 2024 and lasted through mid-November 2024. And so as we were moving along these stops we were quickly approaching election day and then had a couple of stops after election day and after the election results came out. And there’s a distinct difference to our conversations and the panels that we held before the election day and those that came after.

SARA: I can imagine.

ALEXIS: Yeah. By our last couple of events, which were in South Carolina and DC, people were just crying. And our panelists were crying. And we were still encouraging folks to work locally and support each other. But it felt really devastating. And we didn’t know what exactly would come down the pike. But we have come to realize that it is as bad as we thought or perhaps worse on the scale of how much the new administration would focus on harming trans people. And so it’s really hard. Within a few days of Trump taking office, he signed into being several executive orders that were targeting trans folks including limiting gender-affirming care for people under 19, executive orders about trans people in the military, executive orders affecting LGBTQ+ youth in schools, a trans sports ban. And he said so many inflammatory comments about trans people, equating supporting trans kids to being an abusive parent and all sorts of heart-breaking and devastating things. So it is an understatement to say that it is a hard time for trans people right now. And it is an understatement to say that it is a hard time for LGBTQ+ folks working in advocacy right now. I think there’s a lot of pressure and there’s often the people who lead trans and queer organizations are also often trans and queer themselves. And so they’re facing the same impacts on their daily life or the same hateful things said about them that they’re trying to help their people through. So it is really hard right now. I am a grant writing consultant for six LGBTQ+ organizations, a few of them in The South. Several of them are trans led. I work with two trans organizations in New York City that primarily work with BIPOC and immigrant folks. One in fact almost exclusively works with immigrants and Latinx immigrants who are trans and queer.

SARA: Oh, that’s great.

ALEXIS: So it is hard and scary. But, in working with these organizations, I see that there is a significant amount of work being done that is equal to or beyond the hate that’s coming our way, trying to, in the direct services sphere, create and sustain these [indiscernible] and find funding from nongovernmental sources to make that possible, to engaging in boots-on-the-ground advocacy and grassroots mobilization to beat back anti-LGBTQ+ legislation or letter writing campaigns or whatever else it might be. And so I think that as we face this time, we have to work together. We need to engage as much as we can locally because even though the big picture federal stuff is really, really, really hard right now, we can still make some headway locally, at local school board meetings, and the county and city levels. We encourage LGBTQ+ folks to run for office at a local level and see what kind of change you can make that way. Or attending city council meetings and using those very local spaces to create what safety and support you can locally. And then, we do of course still encourage folks to write to their representatives or call them. And a lot of places in The South, that feels really, really futile and certainly in other places in the state that are not LGBTQ+ friendly. I think we still need to do that. But there’s a bit more success locally, going to a school board meeting and educating yourself about what are the local policies that you need to be aware of. But then, also, we have to create and sustain these spaces that will support LGBTQ+ folks and LGBTQ+ youth. So I like to tell people the subtitle for our book is Stories and Resources From The Frontlines Of The Movement For Transgender Youth. And about halfway through our book tour, I was like, “Adam, what can we tell people to do? We say it’s resources, but what do we do?” And Adam was like, “The stories are the resources. The stories encourage people. The stories give people a roadmap about how they could get involved.” There are five gazillion ways to do something good for LGBTQ+ folks. You can volunteer at a queer prom in your local area. You can give money to LGBTQ+ organizations that are doing this work. You can help your church become an affirming space for LGBTQ+ people. You can love your trans kid and use their names and pronouns as best you can. There are so many ways that we can help shift that tide. And it doesn’t have to be this big-picture, “I’m going to change everything, I’m going to beat down every terrible federal law or policy!” But I think loving your kid and getting them the care they need or getting them to that support group or helping out at the queer prom or at the community center are just as important. And a lot of that little stuff can make a difference in the long run. And so we encourage people to do what you can and do what feels right to you. Not everyone is an extrovert or has the ability or time to show up at every protest. But you can give to organizations that are leading those protests. I think find the thing that works for you and just get really good at that one thing. Get really good at chaperoning that queer prom and see what comes of it.

SARA: Yeah. That is really great advice. I appreciate that. And I do think the stories are resources. I mean, I know I learned about resources. And I think I know a lot about resources and I still learned some new things. Like, I didn’t know about Kin-Dom camp and so I’m going to start to shout about that a little bit because just supporting them or sending families down that way sounds like a significant thing. So I just appreciate always there are so many different ways that we can show up and advocate and support for our queer community and our trans and nonbinary youth. And it doesn’t have to be on the “political” frontlines. The frontlines are everywhere.

ALEXIS: Yeah. Absolutely.

SARA: What is giving you hope right now? Where are you seeing progress or resilience?

ALEXIS: Community is really the main thing that’s giving me hope right now. It’s really easy to be hopeless. I feel like every few days, my spouse and I either cry or go through a list of possible outcomes and what we would do if each outcome at this political moment, and we go to some pretty dark spaces in those times. And then crawl our way back out. So it’s hard to be hopeful right now. But I do find hope in the work that the organizations I work with are doing and their unflagging dedication to making the world better for LGBQT+ folks. In the communities we continue to connect with through this book project, we are continuing to do events throughout 2025, mostly with local community organizations or churches or things like that. And so we’ve already done a few this year. And most recently I was at Reformation Lutheran Church in Columbia and got to put together a panel with folks who work for Safe Space Dinners which is one of the groups that’s featured in the book and in the faith chapter. And we had 25 or 30 people there and had this really beautiful robust conversation about what faith communities could do for LGBTQ+ folks and how we could make our spaces safer and why it’s important and how we’re all going to stick together in this time, and what resources people can have access to. And it’s really beautiful to see that and to see the resilience of these communities and their commitment despite the terrible odds right now. People aren’t backing down. It’s really delightful to continue traveling with our book team. We often travel with our cover designer, Liz Williams, who also was one of our editors and one of our biggest cheerleaders as we were finishing the manuscript. And it’s been such a delight to get to know them and my coauthors. And the Campaign for Southern Equality is primarily remote in the work that we do. So to get to spend some real face time with people who care as much about these issues as I do is really lovely to me. And then, personally, I take great comfort and solace from the quaker meeting I go to. It’s just a really beautiful group of folks who are warm and kind and committed to making the world a better place. And I feel really fed in that space to just be in community with people who are committed, again, to making the world better. And I feel like that’s how we’re going to get through. We have to rely on each other and we have to continue connecting. And we have to continue loving on each other and loving on the people around us because we won’t make it through otherwise.

SARA: Yeah. Thank you for that beautiful reminder. I’m also watching all of that beauty pop up in my world as well, the increase in community connection and community care and support, just one-on-one support for each other in the small ways is having a big impact right now. And I’m delighted to hear you talk about it in all those different spaces that you all are in. And I’m sure the book is helping spur some of that as well as people are reading those stories and thinking about ways they can reach out and do more. This has been a really fantastic conversation. I’m just so deeply grateful for you, for the writing, for the stories, for the work of the Campaign for Southern Equality and the Trans Youth Emergency Project. It’s just so heartening to know that there are organizations out there pushing so hard and helping so many people. And I want to remind our listeners that, if you buy a copy of the book, all of the proceeds go to Trans Youth Emergency Project. And you can go to our Mama Dragons Bookshop and support Mama Dragons and buy the book there and we’ll also add it to our list of featured books from folks who’ve been on the podcast. I highly recommend, friends. But, Alexis, before I let you go. I do have some final questions that I like to ask all of my guests at the end of every episode. And the first one has to do with the Mama Dragons name. And it came about out of this sense of fierceness and fierce protection for our kids. And so I like to ask my guests, What is it you are fierce about?

ALEXIS: I am fierce about leading with love and helping to make change from a space of empathy and care.

SARA: Beautiful. I love that. And that’s a beautiful reminder that we can all be fierce about that too. We can all take some of that on. And my last question is, what is bringing you joy right now in these times when we know that it is so important to find those moments of joy?

ALEXIS: My background is in literary fiction and in literary nonfiction. My book, Eating Turtle, that just came out is creative nonfiction about some traveling that I’ve done in recent years. But I am launching a new foray into fantasy writing. And so I am probably four-fifths done with a fantasy novel, with a queer, nonbinary protagonist and a little bit of romance. And so I am just having fun every night or when we have our family reading time together because my kiddo has reading homework. I will pull up my notebook, because I’m handwriting it. And I’m just handwriting this lovely wild story in a fantastical realm about people who are standing up for something good. So it brings me so much joy just to dive into that on a daily basis.

SARA: That sounds amazing. I can’t wait to watch it launch. And I know it will be a big hit in the community. My own kiddo loves those kinds of books and I hear lots of folks who are really hungry for that kind of fantasy fiction, so hurray. That sounds great. Alexis, Thanks again. Thanks so much for joining us In The Den. It’s been a great chat today.

ALEXIS: Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

SARA: Thanks so much for joining us here In The Den. Did you know that Mama Dragons offers an eLearning program called Parachute? This is an interactive learning platform where you can learn more about how to affirm, support, and celebrate the LGBTQ+ people in your life. Learn more at mamadragons.org/parachute. Or find the link in the episode show notes under links.

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