GenderCool

In our Mama Dragons community, we know how transformative it is to witness the joy and authenticity of LGBTQ+ young people, and today In the Den we get to introduce you to two people who are helping make that visibility possible on a national scale. Sara visits with Jen Grosshandler, founder of the groundbreaking organization GenderCool, and her incredible daughter Chazzie. GenderCool is a youth-led movement replacing misinformed opinions with powerful, positive experiences by elevating the voices of transgender and nonbinary young people who are thriving, talented, and simply being themselves.

Special Guest: Jen Grosshandler 

Jen and her husband John are the parents of four kids: three sons and their youngest transgender daughter Chazzie, who is 19 and thriving. Born and raised in Georgia, Jen’s focused the last decade on having reasonable, calm conversations with friends and family who may not understand what it means to raise a transgender daughter. This work led Jen to help create The GenderCool Project, a national nonprofit helping folks evolve their opinions by simply meeting transgender kids and their

families. Jen has been featured in national media, including TODAY, Good Morning America, USA Today, Associated Press, New York Times and Forbes.

Special Guest: Chazzie Grosshandler 

Chazzie Grosshandler is a 19 year old young woman singularly focused on living her life with purpose. She is the inspiration behind a global movement called The Gendercool Project, a non-profit organization helping to replace misinformed opinions with positive experiences meeting transgender & nonbinary young people who are thriving. Chazzie realizes that by telling her powerful, positive story, she helps people understand that transgender and nonbinary kids are just like all other kids.

At 11 years old, she shared her story nationally on TODAY and helped launch GenderCool to a global audience. She has spoken at corporations, conferences, black-tie galas, houses of worship and schools across the country and has been featured in national media including The New York Times, USA Today, ABC News, Hulu, NBC News, Adweek, and Teen Vogue among other outlets.  She is a GLAAD 20 under 20, and has had the great honor of speaking at the White House and collaborating with the Biden administration around progressing equality for transgender and nonbinary young people. 

Links from the Show: 

• Find the GenderCool website here: https://gendercool.org/ 
• Join Mama Dragons here: www.mamadragons.org 

In the Den is made possible by generous donors like you. Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today at www.mamadragons.org.  

Transcript

SARA: Hi everyone. Welcome to In the Den with Mama Dragons. A podcast and community to support, educate, and empower parents on the journey of raising happy and healthy LGBTQ+ humans. I’m your host, Sara LaWall. I’m a Mama Dragon myself and an advocate for our queer community. And I’m so glad to be part of this wild and wonderful parenting journey with all of you. Thanks for joining us. We’re so glad you’re here. 

Hi, everyone. We have a really cool episode for you today! You know, in our Mama Dragons community, we understand how transformative it is to witness the joy and authenticity of our LGBTQ+ young people. And we’re so excited to introduce you to two people who are helping make that visibility possible on a national scale. We’re thrilled to welcome Jen Grosshandler, founder of the groundbreaking organization GenderCool, and her incredible daughter, Chazzie, who also helped found the organization. GenderCool is a youth-led movement replacing misinformed opinions with powerful, positive experiences by elevating the voices of transgender and nonbinary young people who are thriving, talented, and simply being themselves. GenderCool has been featured in The New York Times, ABC News, TODAY, Forbes, Rolling Stone, Teen Vogue–centering the voices of thriving young GenderCool Champions. And these are not stories of struggle, but stories of joy and hope and success. Athletes, journalists, compassionate leaders, living proof that representation transforms hearts and minds. Jen and Chazzie, I am so excited you are with us In the Den. Welcome.

JEN: Thank you, it is so great to be with you, Sara.

CHAZZIE: Yes, Thank you so much. 

SARA: You are so welcome. GenderCool is really cool. I have been deep diving in your website and you offer so many different programs and experiences to help create understanding and visibility for the trans, nonbinary, and gender expansive community. But before we get into all the cool stuff you do, I want to go back to the beginning. How did GenderCool come into being? What was the moment that sparked the idea, and how did it evolve into the national movement it is today?

CHAZZIE: Yeah. For sure. So GenderCool started, we launched officially in February 2017. But the way we came about launching this organization was really near and dear to my family’s life. After I came out as transgender in fourth grade – so almost a decade ago – my parents and I really wanted to do something that we hadn’t seen before in the media. We hadn’t seen real, positive examples and stories of transgender and nonbinary kids like the experience I had. And we wanted to do something different with it. So we came together as a family and talked about how can we show these positive stories of kids who are thriving? And from that conversation with my family, we’ve been able to launch GenderCool. And it’s been such a rewarding, lovely journey that I’m so grateful to be a part of and to be an inspiration for people. 

JEN: And, Chazzie, I remember like it was yesterday, Honey. I remember sitting down and telling you when you really took Dad and I by the hand and really showed us who you always were and will always be. And that experience was so important. I remember saying to you at the dinner table, I’m like, “Honey. Mom and Dad are going to school. We are going to get educated, and learn as much as we could as people who don’t have your life experience.” And so what happened? So we started to travel all around the country. And I would go to all of these conferences and these gatherings. And I would find myself surrounded by dozens and dozens and dozens of young transgender and nonbinary people. And I lost my mind. They were so cool and ambitious. And, like at age 9 they were winning awards at their elementary school for coming up with little businesses. And then at middle school campuses they were creating all sorts of robotic, futuristic solutions for societal problems. And I kept meeting these funny, together, respectful, cool kids. And when I went to go look for these stories anywhere in the information world, anywhere, I could not find them. I found maybe a potato chip in a bag of potato chips. And so that’s where the combination of Chazzie, her life propelling us as a family to join with five other families in the beginning who felt the exact same way. If only everyday folks had the chance to just visit and have an experience with young transgender and nonbinary people just like we have had, then we felt really confident that folks who had opinions that maybe weren’t necessarily based on a lot of facts, maybe those opinions could evolve in a calm, nonjudgmental, non-shouty sort of way. And it turns out, we were right. 

SARA: That’s a beautiful story. Chazzie, fourth grade. That is young. Take us back to that time. What was that like for you as a fourth grader to figure that out about yourself, who you were, and then to share that with your parents? I think coming out stories are so helpful for our community for us to understand each other. But also to see some of our own stories shared by others. 

CHAZZIE: It definitely was super, super scary. And the reason it was so scary is because over time, I had known ever since I was two, I always knew that I was different than kids my age. And so over time, I kept expressing myself more feminine than masculine. And so my parents saw this behavior and they were confused. But they wanted to make sure that their kid was happy. And so when it was – in fourth grade – and I came crying to my parents, bawling my eyes out. And this was very unusual behavior for me. And my parents looked at me and they said, “Honey. What’s wrong? Why are you so sad?” and I told them with tears coming down my face, I said, “Mom, Dad, I’m not just a boy who likes girlie things. I am a girl. And I want you to know that.” And I knew that my parents loved me. But I had bottled up these feelings for so long, that I even started questioning myself. Will my parents still love me? Will my siblings still love me? Will my friends still love me? And especially being that young, being in fourth grade, I was nine years old and telling my parents the truth that I was a girl was scary. But once they told me, they said, “Honey, we believe you. We love you. And we’re going to do everything in our power to make sure you have the best life ever,” reaffirmed me so much. 

SARA: That’s incredible. Jen, what was that like for you as the parent? 

JEN: So, Chazzie is the youngest of four kids. So Chazzie has three older brothers. 

SARA: Okay.

JEN: And we are parents, Sara, of a certain age. Okay. Do you hear what I’m saying? And so we have been with Chazzie’s three older brothers, just like all parents who are raising their kids and trying to do right by their kids. And I’ve heard y’all speak so much about on your podcast and who you are as a human being raising folks with the right values to be good people, right? To understand the value of hard work and to give back to your community and to help thy neighbor, and these things that aren’t just words, written words. They’re actual words that we believe so deeply as a family. And so by that, well, we had to help our three older kids in all different which-ways to put them on their own path, and their right journey. And so when we got to Chazzie, a couple of things. One, I want you to think about this for a second. I’m going to paint this picture. It was the most masculine of households, right? 

SARA: Yes. Yes.

JEN: So, three older brothers and a dad and our dog, a total dude dog. And I am not your quintessential stereotypical girlie chick. I just never have been. And so this was our home. Our home, we knew how to raise boys. We were efficient and pretty good, pretty good at raising boys. And so, for Chazzie – who at one point was born and we were known as the family of four sons – that opportunity, that experience kind of watching Chazzie as early as she said at age two, surrounded by the most masculine of things, and to go in the opposite direction was perplexing to us. It was. We were like, “Okay. Alright. We’ve got this little kid. This is happening. What do we do?” And we’re like, “Alright. We’re just going to kind of go along and make sure that this kid is growing up in the way where this kid, just like the three older brothers, has the right values. That’s what we focused on. And we thought we were doing all the right things. We thought we were this, “Oh, we got this. We’re just going to be this great supportive family.” Well, Sara, we didn’t know. We didn’t know. And I think that that is an experience that so many parents are now having where all of the sudden you’re like, “Wait a minute. I actually don’t know what’s going on. I’m not sure what to do. I love my kid. And now what? Now what?” So that’s what we experienced. 

SARA: Yeah.

JEN: That’s what we experienced. 

SARA: Thank you both for sharing that story. And so that experience led to this organization to help bring stories of trans youth out into the community, of thriving, joyful trans youth. So tell us a little bit about the stuff thatGenderCool offers. There are many programs that I noticed, lots of education. Tell us a little bit about what you do.

JEN: Chaz, you want to take that? You want to start? 

CHAZZIE: Sure. So, as you mentioned, we do a lot of different programs. And one of them is really curated support for families with transgender and nonbinary kids as they’re navigating through it and just having helpful videos and just moments of inspiration. And we have different programs that are talking about, my generation is the next generation to create change and to be in the workforce. And so a lot of stuff that we’ve done with different brands and organizations that we have collaborated with, help evolve understanding of trans and nonbinary people in the workplace, whether that goes for best practices and policies for supporting transgender and nonbinary young people in your workforce, or having pronouns in your badge or signature. Things like that, is really, really important because the truth is, more and more GenZ kids and people are identifying as LGBTQ+. This is a true statistic. And so it’s really important to be aware that we have always been here no matter what. And that’s why it’s so important to keep supporting us. And something else is that acceptance does not require understanding. And I know a lot of my trans and nonbinary peers feel this way that even if you may not fully understand it, if you accept it, that’s what matters. Because I may be in the LGBTQ+ community, but there’s so much that I’m still learning. So we just do a lot of support to help families, to help people understand the beautiful, bright world of trans and nonbinary kids and that we’re more than just a label. And so we just do a lot of different educational awareness and foundation building of just who we are as young people.

SARA: I think that’s amazing. I was really excited to read about how you are partnering with and educating corporations and businesses about how they can understand this community and simple things they can do in the workplace to bring more acceptance. 

JEN: They really understand. So, you know, there’s certainly all sorts of really, really, really challenging things happening now in our country. And so we all need to just breathe deeply and validate what we feel. And also, I want folks who are listening, I want folks to know that for eight years, we as a tiny little nonprofit that started out as a story-telling campaign, and evolved to something very different and bigger, broader, with different kinds of impact. The corporate world still really does understand and value the ability to learn from this next generation. And what we all are experiencing now, where folks are talking about, there is massive pullback and corporations are not doing diversity, equity, and inclusion. Or they’re renaming things. And what do those words mean? And why are those words negative, when, of course, they’re not negative? They simply help us as human beings be more productive in our lives, be more open, understand each other, just in a little bit of a more comprehensive way. And so it’s important for folks to know that the business world and the corporate world, they are navigating these deeply, deeply complicated times. They are good people. And folks are coming at this in different ways. And we, as families, raising transgender kids – I mean, Chazzie hit it right, the nail on the head. – Nearly one out of three GenZers, ages 12 to 22 as you know, are now telling us that they’re part of the LGBTQ+ community. And a driver of this number are actually transgender and nonbinary young people. And so our world and our society and our schools and our workplaces and our healthcare systems, there is no turning back. Our children are here. And this is not changing. It’s just not going to change. So, even though there are some things right now that are brutally obvious and evident and causing real harm – but back to what we do – So that’s why, Sara. That’s why, in addition to what Chazzie talked about and our work with the corporate space because of that this next generation workforce, I feel so deeply about continuing, probably in a different way, to do this education in a way that’s going to reach as many people as possible because folks still tell us that most folks in this country still say they’ve never met or had a personal experience with a transgender or nonbinary young person. And so, if only, if only we can continue to somehow reach those folks, I have got example after example after example of how folks tell us that simply by listening or seeing, listening to your podcast, has the ability to just help folks sit back with their cup of coffee or tea, and maybe reconsider some of the things they thought were true. 

SARA: Jen, you’ve expressed the kind of fraught and heartbreaking moment we’re in. Really tough and anxious times when it comes to the trans community, when it comes to trans youth. And yet, also, your organization – and Chazzie you are an example of what thriving looks like – so I love that. I love that that’s a place where we can go to remind ourselves that thriving is still possible in this moment. And I also want to ask, how are you holding up? How are you processing and managing this moment? And I ask because I know a lot of kids, a lot of our parents, we’re all really struggling right now. And it helps to talk about it. So I’d love to hear how you’re doing and who you’re thinking about it, and moving through this really fraught and really distressing political moment. 

CHAZZIE: Thank you for that. I really appreciate that. I think, for me honestly, it is just reminding myself to take things one day at a time. And I recognize, as a young 19 year old, how much privilege I have. That, one, I live in a great state. I live in Illinois. That, two, I have accepting family. That, three, I don’t have to question who I am. And, I realize that’s not everybody’s case. And I think, for me, with everything happening, it’s so disheartening, so disheartening because the transgender/nonbinary community has always been here. This is not our first time living and breathing as individuals. We’ve seen this in the Stonewall Riots. And we’ve seen this in history, that people who feel that this is like our first time existing as human beings or find it strange is just like, they don’t understand. And they don’t want to understand because they are afraid of what they don’t know. And so I think it’s really about challenging that narrative and really showing examples of people who are thriving and examples of people who want to make a change and just be themselves. Because, at the end of the day, I’m still trying to figure out what I want to do in my life. And there shouldn’t be any expected reason for people to be advocates. Not every single person is going to be – that’s in the LGBTQ+ community – is going to be as vocal and as verbal as I am. And that’s the truth. But I’m continuing my work because I know it’s not the first time it’s happened. And I’m looking out for other people, other trans and nonbinary sisters or mine, brothers of mine, siblings of mine to know that you are valid and that you are you. And with everything happening, stay true to you. So I would say that. 

SARA: That’s beautiful. Thank you. 

CHAZZIE: Thank you. 

JEN: You know, I’m 58 years old. And that’s a lot of living. I have to say that I’ve had an opportunity, professionally and personally, to be as challenged as I could’ve ever possibly imagined. And I feel that right now, this is a moment in time where we as parents, where we as human beings, are going to need to dig deeper than we ever thought imaginable. And how do we do that? And what does that mean? So, first of all, I am militant about self-care. So I am a marathoner. I am a former triathlete. I lift and swim and do yoga. These things are critical in my life. And Chazzie knows this. Of all of our four kids and my husband, it’s been one of my – and it’s in my bio – one of the things that I know from my lived experience is that by finding your strength, whatever that looks like, and caring for yourself, it doesn’t just make you physically strong. It opens up an opportunity in your mind to look at things with potentially different perspectives. And so, sleep, and eating delicious foods, foods that make you happy, that not just fuel you, and also make you very happy. Doing these things, I feel, is critical to carrying for yourself at a time where, for so many, it feels like the world is against them. That’s number one. But the second thing about how I’m doing and how am I processing this is I am digging in 300%. I am digging in. And digging in in new ways. I am connecting with so many more parents, and elected officials, and health care individuals, and our incredibly fabulous friends in the media, and folks in the corporate world. We are building a much wider net from across the country and the world. And, Sara, this is so important because through building this wider net, I am realizing it is becoming more clear to me, more clear, that this is a moment in time. This terrible stuff that is happening from still a relatively small group of people who happen, right now, to have immense power. And there’s big money, there’s big money there. And so this small group with power and money, they’re trying to protect a country that is a country of decades ago. That country just isn’t our country now. It’s not who we are as a people. It’s not who we look like. It’s not what we think. They’re not going to always have this power. They’re not. And so our job, I think – I’m not going to tell anyone what to do because everyone’s got to do what they gotta do, right – my job is to be as strong, physically and mentally, as I’ve ever been, to learn from what is happening across the country and help to create new ways to support, directly and otherwise, families raising transgender and nonbinary kids, and to be here as a human being for any person who wants to speak with me, to reach out to me, to spend time with me, to go have a coke. Anything folks want, it is yes, a thousand times, yes. Because these parents who are starting this journey and these young people who are young, they have to know that it is going to be okay. We are going to get through this period together and be creative in how we do it. And on the other side, we’re going to recapture, not just recapture, but we’re going to – as the extraordinary woman you’ve had on your podcast who is so special and she’s so incredible, Nadine Smith, talks about the slingshot effect – And I believe that with every fiber of my being. And so that’s how I’m processing as a mom, as a parent, as a wife, as a mother, as a sister, as a daughter, as someone who is an advocate. Those are things that I’m doing. 

SARA: I really appreciate that you mentioned selfcare. It is something we’ve talked about pretty regularly on the podcast because it is something that is both so important and also really hard for parents, particularly parents of queer kids who are just feeling a lot of pressure and stress, to care for, protect, support their kids. And many of us have more than one kid. So thanks just for naming that and sharing that with us. And it makes me curious, Chazzie, what does selfcare look like for you? And what would you say to other queer young people about selfcare? 

CHAZZIE: I was going to jump in and say, “I’m also a very big advocate of selfcare.” You can ask my mom. You can ask my family. I love selfcare. And selfcare’s different for everybody. But, I think for me, the ways I practice selfcare is I love drawing. I love just going outside in nature and just smelling the beautiful flowers and trees and just decompress. I love just having different scents around me that calms me. And I think another one that is super important is taking a break from social media. I have a presence online on social media. And I’m so grateful for it. But when I see things going on social media, I just say, “I’m just going to take a little bit of a break. I’m not going to look at it right now. I’m going to decompress.” And it really helps because it’s so sad how normalized it has been for people to find out things happening on social media that aren’t great, that are really negative. And so, to take a break from it and realize that I don’t want to deal with this right now. I’m going to just focus on me right now, it's really important. And so I think, something I would say for queer youth, for selfcare, is just whenever you feel like it, take a break with anything. With anything. It doesn’t have to even be information that you’ve received. Just take breaks. Because, as humans, we can overwork ourselves quite a lot. And so by taking breaks, doing things that you love, doing things that bring you joy, especially in times of such uncertainty is really, for me, the best protocol. So I would say that. 

SARA: Thanks. Thanks for sharing that and that great reminder that we don’t have to be “In it” every minute. That breaks are what helps sustain us for this long-haul and the digging deep, Jen, that you mentioned that we have to do. I want to chat a little bit about your GenderCool Champions, as you call them. You have a crew of young people who are the face and the storytelling of the work of GenderCool. And I wonder if you can share some of those stories with us, and maybe some stories about how you’ve seen the GenderCool Champions shift hearts and minds in some unexpected ways? 

JEN: So I have a couple examples. But, Chazzie, do you want to jump in? 

CHAZZIE: No, go ahead. I’ll follow after you, totally fine. 

JEN: Alright. Awesome. So right now there are about 20 young people who live across 13 states and up into Canada who are leading the work of the GenderCool project. And you’re absolutely right, they’re called the Champions. And so I’m going to give you a couple of really cool examples that forever and ever will just stay in my heart. So we were first starting out. And there was a group of young people, there were five of the Champions, and we went to speak to this massive, massive company. And they had this stunning stage. And it was like Jiminy Cricket, it was like the Oscars or something with all the technology and all the lights and all the different microphones that you could clip on and all the groovy stuff. And it was a huge, massive audience. And the champions spoke and they talked about their lives and their dreams and their goals and their ambitions. One of the young people just was focused and got accepted to college at age 14. And, by age 21, is now a doctor, a PhD. And this young man is going, at some point in his life, to find the cure for Alzheimer's. 

SARA: Wow.

JEN: So that’s one of a hundred stories of these extraordinary young people. And so, after we were done, we were leaving, and we were all filing out and there’s tons of people everywhere. And I had this lovely man come up to me and he said, “Can I talk to you for a second?” And I said, “Of course.” And he said, “I want you to know something. I have been a security guard at this corporation for about 30 years. And my life is humble,” – he used the word humble I think – “My life is humble.” He said, “I had a chance in the back of the auditorium to watch and listen today.” And he said, “I wanted to come find you because I wanted to tell you that I am going home to my family,” he said something like, It’s Tuesday, it’s meatloaf night like they have this regular routine like so many of us do, right? And he said, “I’m going to sit down and I’m going to talk to my family about this. I didn’t know anything about this. And I just wanted to say Thanks.” And so that will always stick with me. And then the only other example is we did this big thing with ABC Network. They’re awesome. We filmed this really cool special. And the crew that we worked with, there was a massive, a very large, crew. And these are folks, these are union folks. These are folks who spend their lives working and doing so much of the work of the grips and the lighting and the sound and the cameras. And these were real New Yorkers. These were down. These were legacy New Yorkers who don’t mince words. They’ve got no time for that. And I had a group of these guys come up to me with just out of a movie – it was like out of a movie. And basically, they were sort of emotional. And they said, “Look. We have filmed everything under the sun. We have filmed things. I’ll never remember how much I filmed and the things I’ve seen, the people I’ve met, the things that I’ve witnessed.” And they said we’ve really never seen anything like this where all of these transgender and nonbinary kids came together to have a really comfortable, nonjudgmental talk and it impacted these men who thought they’d seen everything and felt everything and felt they were numb at that point, numb to feeling because that’s all they do is they film stuff about feelings and what-not. And they said, “We’ve just never seen this. We are really moved. And we wish every one of these young people just the most joy and happiness in their lives.” 

SARA: Amazing. Wow. Chazzie do you have any stories that stick with you that you want to share? 

CHAZZIE: Yeah. I mean, I love that example. I think it’s so sweet. And just to know that us young people, we can make a difference. Something that I always like to remember is when we’ve been on different news stations and people have – I was with my friend and people have said, “Oh my gosh, I just saw GenderCool on TV. Thank you for that.” Random people, in just normal everyday encounters thanking me, thanking GenderCool for the work that we have been able to do. And it gives me something, right? And so just having those moments. And when we won this award for what my mom was just talking about at such a big stage, at such a national stage being like, wow. We’ve really done something that’s really helped change hearts and minds, even help educate educators, teachers, and professionals, just to be like, “Thank you for all that you do and Thank you for helping me realize it more.” Because people want to listen to us. And we want people to listen to us. So I would say that. 

SARA: And are you talking about the GLAAD Award that you won? 

CHAZZIE: I am, yes. 

SARA: I watched that beautiful acceptance speech and it moved me to tears listening to Max’s words about unconditional love and loving without questions and keeping the Earth on its axis. I was just so overwhelmed by that. So, Chazzie, you are here with us as a champion yourself. And I wonder if you’ll share with us a little bit about what is your life like today? What does your future look like for you? What are you up to? 

CHAZZIE: Yeah. So, I am going to be going to University of Arizona this fall. 

SARA: Go Wildcats. 

CHAZZIE: Go Wildcats, Bear Down. 

SARA: Bear down. I’m a Wildcat too, just for our listeners sake why we are having a moment about this. 

CHAZZIE: Yes, love it, love it. I’m so excited. And I’m going to be majoring in political science and with an interest in law and a minor in Spanish. And I’m really excited for that because ever since I was little, my advocacy has really helped me learn more about politics and learn how different groups work and what work they need to do. And so I’m really applying my advocacy to my degree that I’m going  to be studying, and I’m just really happy to be in the moment. And while I am thinking about things long-term, like after that, I really am really just excited to be able to learn about things that really interest me. And some ideas I have, like when I’m older, I do definitely want to do some work, if I can. I have big dreams. Let me just say that now. 

SARA: Good. Lay them out. Let’s hear them.

CHAZZIE: I really would love, ideally, to work in the United Nations. That is a big dream of mine. 

SARA: That would be amazing. 

CHAZZIE: Thank you. And to be a proud transgender person in the United Nations showing up for who I am and showing up for the community just to be a voice in such a high stage is a big dream of mine. So I really want to do that. I really want to work in DC and help talk about politics too because it’s so fascinating. 

JEN: What are you doing this summer that’s helped you learn some more? 

CHAZZIE: Yeah. So this summer I’m also doing an internship too with a US Representative of our state. And I’ve been able to learn so much about how politics work and the whole idea of it all. And it’s really awesome. I’m able to talk with so many different people of such diverse life backgrounds. I have a couple other interns that I’m interning with and they’re all different skin colors and gender identities and sexual orientations. And it’s really nice that we have this one common goal of just getting democracy where it is and where it should be and just doing it. 

SARA: Amazing. For so many reasons, amazing. Delighted to hear that one of our US Congresspeople is having trans folks as interns, trans young people. Can you tell us who this person is so we can really celebrate the fact that this is happening? 

CHAZZIE: Yeah. So his name is Brad Schneider. 

SARA: Fabulous.

CHAZZIE: And he is incredible. And he’s based in DC, but we literally just had him at our office a couple weeks ago and stuff. He is such an ally. He’s great. And it’s really those moments of people in such high power and in government showing up for the community is so inspirational. 

SARA: Thank you. Representative Schneider. I think that’s really amazing and powerful for him to also recognize the power of representation, not just as an ally but also of what that representation means for other young people and other people that are interacting with you and seeing you in this position, in this office. It’s so cool. Thanks for sharing all of that with us. 

CHAZZIE: Of course. 

SARA: Jen, I’m curious from you if you can talk a little bit about what role parents and caregivers play in changing the public narrative about LGBTQ+ youth? And then also if you’ll share with us, how can we, Mama Dragons, Parents, or Kids get involved with GenderCool?

JEN: These are two of the most exciting questions. I love this, Sara. I love to be able to talk about this with you and with my extraordinary daughter who I love so much. I love you, sweetheart. This is so fun to do this together, by the way. It’s like we don’t get a chance to be together doing these things and having these conversations as much as we would like. And so I just wanted to say that. So, first of all, for parents. For the work that we are doing now as an organization is evolving. It is changing because there is a need for it. And by that, I mean that we are doing everything from changing our mission statement to the actual work that we’re doing by incorporating now, by bringing in, in a very direct and intentional way, the voices of parents and families. And so along with our Champions who are thriving, we are also going to be elevating and working with our parents and families of the Champions because we see how important it is right now. Not only for other parents who may or may not have a connection to our kids and the lives that we live, we think it’s really important for the parents we know to be able to connect with other parents who are raising transgender and nonbinary young people to be those voices oftentimes for so many families who can’t. But there’s something really interesting going on. And that is – Sara, I wonder if you’ve been seeing this – that I’ve mentioned that I’ve got four kids. They’re in four different states. And so we’ve been traveling all over. And so I was in Oregon. I spent a lot of time in Utah recently. And then, someone’s going to be here in Chicago and then other folks, Chazzie, in Arizona. So I will go to any coffee shop. I will go to any diner. I’m talking to folks as I’m having my walks or I’m on my run or in the local grocery store asking about the cool different new or distinct vegetables that I’m looking at. I will just open up conversations. And so because of that, I’m getting to know a lot of folks who I don’t know. And here’s what’s so interesting. So everyday people do not want to get up in the business of how families are raising their children. And yet, what we’re seeing on a national level, again, the small group of folks who right now have power, those folks are trying to tell us that the government needs to be up in your business of how you are caring for your kids. And that is something that nobody believes in or agrees with. And why I’m saying that is because the more parents that we have who are out there speaking across different platforms to all different sorts of folks, who have all sorts of beliefs, and come from all different backgrounds, and as human beings here, it’s what makes us who we are. All of these beautiful differences. If you are parents who live in certain states and some of those states may have the most severe laws and restrictions even though they’re unconstitutional, they’re immoral, and they’re not going to last. But they’re there now. A lot of these families don’t have the opportunity to do these things and to speak. We know a ton of families do and a ton of families want to do this. So the more we, we as a group, can be out there in the court of public opinions, the more folks meet us, the more folks understand, “Well wait a minute, why are my elected officials, why in the actual world is my representative or my senator or my higher up person who I voted for, why in the world are they spending all this time trying to get up in the business of how families raising transgender kids are caring for their kids?” That’s now why most folks elected their elected officials. That’s not the business they want them to do. And so we, as parents, we have a role to be able to be out there. Folks need to get to know us as human beings so that more and more and more people who meet us continue to realize, understand, and quite frankly become frustrated by the really inappropriate focus that their elected officials have. And what’s going to happen is, the tides are going to turn. The pendulum is going to swing. And it’s important, I think for all of us, in whatever way we can, to be involved and be part of that. Right now, that’s the work. 

SARA: So how can parents who want to connect with this work and share their stories and do some of the great work that you’re doing get involved?

JEN: Please, please email us. Please email us at info@gendercool.org. This does not go into some interesting black hole. We are so on it, y’all. I mean, we are so on it about the systems that are in place to receive these emails from folks saying, “This is who I am. This is who my family is. I would love to be involved. I would love to use my voice.” It is the most exciting, inspirational, and motivating thing to be able to hear from families who have different perspectives and different ideas, and they’re backgrounds are different than our backgrounds. And we learn. You can also email me directly. I’m going to give you my email right now, which is my first name, Jen, J-E-N, Jen@gendercool.org. 

SARA: Awesome. Thank you. And we’ll make sure to put those links to the emails and the website and everything in our show notes so folks can directly go there and get connected with all of you. I am so grateful for this conversation and this work. It’s so inspiring. Chazzie, I wonder if you can share with us, what do you want other families to know, especially those that are perhaps just starting this journey in supporting their trans or nonbinary child? 

CHAZZIE: I think one of the first things that comes to my head is honestly that you as a parent are allowed to feel whatever you’re feeling and that you’re valid no matter how you feel. And also, to feel honored that your child has come to you and said that they’re who they truly are. I know that made me feel so happy and grateful when my parents told me that they would do everything in their power to support me. And so the fact that your child is coming to you and telling you who they are, shows that they really, really just want to have a place in the world and that they want to feel accepted. And by you accepting it, it’s going to be a journey. It is. But it’s going to be a beautiful one. And we are here, as GenderCool and I’m here as a young person for anyone that has any questions because I know that us as young trans and nonbinary people, we just want to live. And so feel free to reach out to us like my mom said. We are here for y’all. And just to know that we are here for you on this journey. 

SARA: Thank you. That is beautiful. And something you just said about just wanting to live made me think of something on your website on one of your videos that I saw where it was another young person saying, “Being trans is the least interesting thing about me.” Oh, this is great. What a great message right there. There’s so much more to who we are as human beings, all of us, that we don’t need to sort of hyper-fixate. There are so many other things that are cool about us. And, Chazzie, I want to give you a lot of credit, all the credit, for living your life and pursuing your dreams and being such an amazing young person. And Jen, in a world that overfocuses on parenting and is all up in our business, you two are really helping to show the world what beautiful parenting looks like and that having a trans child can be a joy and can show the world that there is a trans person that is happy, healthy, thriving, successful, and not all those other horrible things that they’re saying about us as parents. So thank you both for giving that to all of us. 

JEN: Thank you so much. 

SARA: You are so welcome. We like to ask our guests a final question every episode. And given your focus, I think this question will resonate with both of you. But, what is bringing you joy right now? Recognizing that in these times, we need to cultivate as much joy as possible. OK, Jen, let’s start with you. 

JEN: Meeting people like you. Honestly to gosh, being in places and in conversations that are new and different and fresh and our ability to just build bigger nets of love and support. I get so excited. I do; I get so excited. 

SARA: Thank you. Me too. 

CHAZZIE: Yeah. I was going to say that and just having amazing and impactful open conversations with people and meeting people where they’re at. And still embracing the amazing, beautiful community that is the LGBTQ+ community despite everything that’s happening that our community is not going anywhere. That now it’s time to get louder and share our stories. And, honestly, at the end of the day being in places that remind me that I am me, whether that be at parades or just in gatherings that I can still be me and that there are other people that are there for me, is really what matters most, what is giving me hope. 

SARA: Awesome. Beautiful. Thank you. Likewise, right back to both of you, it brings me great joy and gives me great hope to be in spaces with folks like you and to be doing this work together. Thank you so much. 

JEN: Thank you.

CHAZZIE: Thank you. 

SARA: Thanks for joining us here In the Den. Did you know that Mama Dragons offers an eLearning program called Parachute? This is an interactive learning platform where you can learn more about how to affirm, support, and celebrate the LGBTQ+ people in your life. Learn more at mamadragons.org/parachute. Or find the link in the episode show notes under links. 

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