Queer Youth Assemble

Imagine a world where queer and trans youth have safety, autonomy, joy, and the chance to live into their fullest potential. It’s a world we Mama Dragons all dream of for our queer kids. Our guests today are from an organization called Queer Youth Assemble that is not just dreaming it, but making it happen–through marches, walkouts, protests, creative activism, and community resources. This week In the Den, Sara visits with three young people who are sparking change from coast to coast.

Special Guest: Pluto or Snail 

Pluto or Snail uses he/it pronouns and is trans masc and gay, though semi-questioning his sexuality. He has been out to his family since 5th grade, going through many different sexualities and genders until around his 10th grade year. Pluto has now graduated from high school.

Special Guest: Zadyn Higgins

Zadyn Higgins is an 18 year old queer and trans activist. Zadyn has been with Queer Youth Assemble for a few years now but has had a lifelong involvement in activism.

Special Guest: Esmée Silverman

Esmée Silverman (they/she) is a nationally renowned queer activist, community organizer, and changemaker. Described as a spark of creativity, Esmée has used her unique personality and lived experiences as a non-binary asexual woman to improve the lives of queer & trans youth through events, protests, education, and other endeavors. They currently serve as the co-president of Queer Youth Assemble, a non-profit she co-founded to bring autonomy and joy to all queer & trans youth across the United States. 

Links from the Show:

• Find Queer Youth Assemble here: https://queeryouthassemble.org/ 
• Donate to Queer Youth Assemble: https://queeryouthassemble.org/donations/1738/ 
• Join Mama Dragons here: www.mamadragons.org 

In the Den is made possible by generous donors like you. Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today at www.mamadragons.org.  

Transcript

SARA: Hi everyone. Welcome to In the Den with Mama Dragons. A podcast and community to support, educate, and empower parents on the journey of raising happy and healthy LGBTQ+ humans. I’m your host, Sara LaWall. I’m a Mama Dragon myself and an advocate for our queer community. And I’m so glad to be part of this wild and wonderful parenting journey with all of you. Thanks for joining us. We’re so glad you’re here. 

Imagine a world where queer and trans youth have safety, autonomy, joy, and the chance to live into their fullest potential. That's a world we all dream about for our queer kids here at Mama Dragons. And our guests today are from an organization that is not just dreaming it, they are making it happen through marches and walkouts, protests, creative activism, and community resources. These young people are sparking change from coast to coast, and we are so excited to introduce you to three amazing youth from Queer Youth Assemble, a powerful youth-led movement founded in 2021 to help uplift queer youth voices across the country. This incredible organization put together the National March for Queer and Trans Youth Autonomy. And they continue to build an unstoppable network of young leaders across the country. With us today to talk about this work and all that they are doing is Esme Silverman. Esme uses they/she pronouns, and is one of the founders of the organization. Joining Esme is Zayden Higgins. He/him pronouns, program coordinator and 18-year-old queer trans activist, and Pluto Fitch, general activist for the organization Pluto uses he/it pronouns and identifies as a trans masked gay youth semi, questioning his sexuality. Esme, Zayden, and Pluto, welcome to In the Den. I'm so excited to talk with you today.

ESME: Happy to be here.

ZAYDEN: Thank you.

SARA: So, Esme, let's start with you as the founder. If you could just share with us the origin story of Queer Youth Assemble. How did it all come into being? 

ESME:  We talk about a lot about origin stories, like with baseball, the story of Cooperstown. That's mostly fake. It was created to sort of just settle a narrative. Everything that happened in Queer Youth Assemble’s origin story is 100% real. It all started back in August of 2021. I just graduated high school, and I had spent the past 4 years in my high school Gender-Sexuality Alliance, doing a lot of really good organizing work. I was a member of GLSEN's National Student Council during my senior year. And I also was one of the facilitators of the Massachusetts Commission on LGBTQ youth, they have a program called the GSA Leadership Council over there. So, I was doing all of that. And this was around the same time that all of these trans sports bands were popping up. So I said to myself, as a former trans athlete in high school, “What if we were to build an event that just invited a bunch of queer and trans people to play sports like kickball and softball, just fun games and everything, and just brought fun back to the thing, but also made it a protest.”  We created an event called Life Trans Athletes Play in response to that question. And it brought together sports and games and community and art, and it was just a beautiful success. We had, I think, about 100 people join in. We got covers from the Boston Globe. 3 days later, I go into surgery to get my wisdom teeth out, and the day after that was just laying in my bed, I could barely hear anything, and I was like, I want to start a non-profit that allows us to do these events everywhere across the country, because I come from Boston, Massachusetts, and that place is,  pretty, queer-friendly. But I realize across the country, these types of events don't necessarily happen a lot. And, they have LGBTQ centers in the cities, but the question at first was, how can we spread these events, these protests, this energy across the country? And how can we make sure that queer and trans youth are at the center of that? And the solution was to found an organization called Queer Youth Assemble, brings queer and trans youth together that started up in August of 2021. Over the past 4 years, we've had an incredible time doing events and protests and just a lot of really other fun stuff.

It was a fantastic time during that month where we just got everything rolling. And ever since then, I've had the pleasure of working with just some incredible young people and some incredible organizers like these two with me, just incredible people in general. And I am so fortunate that I was able to be a part of this founding of this organization.

SARA: Awesome. And that first event sounds amazing. Thanks so much for sharing that story with us. And let's turn to Zayden next, and Pluto both. How did each of you get involved? And can you share with us a little bit of your own personal journey into Queer Youth Assemble? Pluto, let's start with you.

PLUTO: So I joined Queer Youth Assemble when we started with the huge protest for trans lives, the March March that we called it that. That was I don't even remember what year that was in. That was very crazy. I joined Queer Youth Assemble seeing a video on TikTok. There was this group of people who were not part of Queer Youth Assemble, technically, and I ended up meeting up with them in Seattle. The people who were hosting the march, they weren't part of Queer Youth Assemble at all, and I realized that we need to get Queer Youth Ensemble involved.  We were in a predicament about something, and Esme reached out to me to try to help the situation. So, I ended up applying for Queer Youth Assembled through Esme because I wanted to learn more about what was going on. And it was also helping out a lot with the protest that we were planning. And I just decided that it was a place that I wanted to be a part of because I never heard about it before. 

SARA:  That's great. Zayden, how about you?

ZAYDEN: I joined right after the big march. But looking back, I do actually remember seeing one of those videos about the march and organizing one, but I was actually planning a different walkout at the time at my school. And so after going to the march in March, I went to the DC March. And I got to meet a lot of cool people, including Esme and other people. And so I actually got started there. I applied for Queer Youth Assemble, and then I didn't hear back until, like, a little while later, because you guys were swamped. And I knew it.  But then I heard back, and like late April, I think, I joined, so late April of –  what was it – 2023? 2023, yeah. So this is my third summer.

SARA: Zayden, great. I'm curious to hear more about this walkout that you were planning at your school. 

ZAYDEN:  Yeah, so I planned it for April 19th. And it ended up happening on April 19th. I had done a previous protest/walkout thing at my school. And it had not gone as well as I'd hoped, because there was a lot of problems with administration. And so I knew how to do it this time, and it worked out really well. I think I got about 500 people out onto the field. And I got to speak. And I had a few of my other friends speak. And I'm proud and also a little mortified to say that that was almost entirely me planning, like, I didn't have any other help. 

SARA: Well, that's incredible.

ZAYDEN: But I was very proud of it. It worked really well.

SARA: The walkout was in support of queer youth, trans youth, what was the specific call to action?

ZAYDEN: So it was specifically for trans youth and just trans people in general, because there had been quite a few deaths of trans women in and around the DMV within the past, like, 2 months, and it was like a spike. It was really worrisome And there was also a continuing onslaught of trans and queer youth targeting bills, like the Don't Say Gay bill in Florida. And then, also just all of the sports and some targeted high school sports. And that was really directly connected to me, and to the school. And it was just this kind of – I didn't see any, like outright support for trans youth or trans people at all from my school, and that felt really unfortunate. And so I wanted to be able to speak up and show that support. 

SARA: That's great, and it sounds like your peers really got behind that as well. Like, what a beautiful –  500 people is amazing.  If we got 500 people to anything where I live here in Idaho, that'd be extraordinary. I'm hoping that the three of you might share a little bit of your own personal stories, and I'm thinking in particular because the Skrmetti decision in the Supreme Court just came down, solidifying bans on healthcare for trans youth in states that already have them or giving states free rein to create them. And sort of thinking about how – I'm hoping you'll just share with us a little bit about your own journey through your own understanding of yourselves, your transition, and healthcare, to try to help our listeners, our parents, and our kids,  both find some solidarity and some common ground in storytelling, which I think is really helpful, but just to also understand the impact of Skrmetti on the lives of trans youth. Esme, can we start with you? 

ESME:  Well, let's put it this way, the regret rate for gender-affirming care is somewhere around .5%. That was a study that was done in Princeton. The divorce rate in the United States is 50%, so if you're supporting an institution like marriage, and at the same time are going against gender-affirming care, then I don't know what to say to you other than you've got your priorities all out of whack. So, let's get started here with how I came to the realization I was trans. I grew up in a very upper-middle-class Jewish family. My mom was Catholic, but she never really practiced it. My dad was Jewish, and he wanted me to learn about it. So he would take me to family gatherings. And he rolled me in Hebrew school for a little bit. And, that really taught me about dignity and respect towards other people. And that also made me feel really comfortable when I came out as queer, when it came out as pansexual  during, I think, the summer of 7th grade, or the summer heading into 8th grade. And, around that time, I kind of was repressing my gender identity a lot in large part because I was on some pretty gnarly ADHD meds that just completely made me into a shell of myself. Once I got off of those, I started to put two and two together and realized, oh, maybe I'm trans. And that was really scary for me, honestly, because I had just gotten into high school. So it was, particularly, weird time in my life where I was in a new environment, the only friends I really had were basketball players. I had a couple of, like, neighborhood friends and stuff like that. But they really helped me out later down the line, especially when I came out, when they told me about my high school's Gender-Sexuality Alliance. And they just gave some really good support and advice to me, so I am forever grateful for them. But I was in a very precarious situation, because I was pretty well known as somebody who said a ‘hey’ to a lot of people around the school. So it was a very scary time for me because I didn't really know how to come out, how to progress the situation. When I joined my high school Gender-Sexuality Alliance, everything started to fall into place for me, and I started to gain a lot of community and support. I realized that being trans was something that I could be open about to people I trusted, and I was. I started to slowly come out to my friends and family between September when I started school, and December. And, I came out to my family in April or something along those lines of 2018. And it's weird to say that 2018 was 7 years ago.  That does not feel like that at all.

SARA: And what was that like when you finally came out to your parents, how did they receive your story?

ESME: Well, my mom and I always go back and forth about this, because my parents will say that they were very supportive, and they were in a lot of ways. They got me care after a month or two. They were very supportive once they realized what was happening. But at first, it was very rocky. And I'm sure it’s rocky for  every single parent who hears that their kid is trans because not everybody grew up with an encyclopedia on queer and trans knowledge. In fact, it was a heavily repressed topic in the 80s. So you had a lot of parents today who have absolutely no idea what this stuff is and have to learn it from incredible people like you all who do this podcast, and put out resources, but also, like, going to support groups and talking to a doctor or a therapist. And my parents were definitely on that spectrum. I mean, they heard of trans people. My dad grew up in a very well-off Jewish family, and they did a lot of theater performances. So they had a lot of queer and trans friends, my grandparents did. And my dad was exposed to that a little bit during his childhood, and also grew up with that same doctrine of dignity and respect that Judaism teaches. My mom, a little bit more on the less knowledgeable side of this topic. She grew up in a working-class, Catholic household and didn't really learn about any of this stuff until she went to medical school. She's a pharmacist. And I remember the first conversation that I had with my mom about this, she asked if I wanted to essentially mutilate myself, and I had to explain to her that that is not on my mind at the moment. What was on my mind was just coming out to my family so I could get the support I needed right then and there which was – I had always been advocating for myself to go on HRT and get hormone blockers just so I could make informed decisions. And, it took about 2 months of really researching and figuring it out. I think what really clicked for them was when they took me to my first appointment with a psychologist for gender-affirming care. And I went to the GeMS clinic at Boston Children's Hospital, incredible group of people, just one of the premier medical organizations for gender-affirming care and queer and trans youth in the country. And when they had a talk with that psychiatrist, it didn't last more than, like, 20 minutes. They came out and just immediately called me by my preferred name, and had a much more positive tone in regards to all of this. I think at first, they thought that I was just making an impulsive decision because I grew up with severe ADHD. But once they realized that it was a legitimate medical thing, and they had an adult telling them, you're not crazy, your child is okay, they're just going through something, and I've talked with them, it seems like that this is a legitimate case. They were a lot better after that. So I think that the moral of the story is that every single family, regardless of if you grew up around trans people, if you didn't, you're going to have concerns. You're going to have questions. You're going to be apprehensive about the whole process, maybe even push back a little bit. But as a parent, your job is to create a happy, healthy, and safe environment for your kids. And as long as you're taking steps to ensure that is the case, then I think that you're doing great.

SARA: Thank you for naming the complexity of all of it, right? The desired outcome, but also that we all have our own journeys. I'm the parent of a trans youth. And despite being a very progressive family, it was still a learning curve. It was still a rocky moment in the beginning. Zayden, how about your story?

ZAYDEN: Mine is quite a bit different and I also was very much involved in the  ACLU immediately, like, rapid response for the Skrmetti decision. I can talk more about that a little bit later. But for my gender-affirming care history and just journey, so I'm right near DC. So I came out maybe 2020, like, late 2020. And then I got put on a waitlist for a gender clinic at some point. I didn't get an appointment with said children's hospital gender clinic for another two years. So the waiting list was 2 years long to even get an intake appointment. Didn't have any kind of communication with them. It was, you get in when you get in. And this is the soonest appointment. You have a waiting time of 2 years. But then, after that initial appointment, you have to wait, like, 3 months, and then you get seen again, and then another 3 months, and then your intake process is done. Your intake process takes 6 months total. And that doesn't mean you get prescribed anything yet. That's just the intake. And then you get to go in as an official patient. And so, in total it took me three and a half years from being on the gender waitlist, gender clinic waitlist, to actually get any kind of care. I started HRT in 2023, February 2023. So, yeah. 3 years of waiting and being on waiting lists, and going to appointments. And getting screenings done, everything. And having disagreements with my parents. They were great, but there was some time to have to get them on board with the thought of HRT. But I finally got on testosterone in 2023. I've been on it since. And then just a few months ago, when our current president took office, within the first few weeks, he signed an executive order that would shut down funding for any gender clinics or hospitals that were providing gender-affirming care. And it was like, you have 90 days, and then it's all shut down. Children's National Hospital shut it down day of. I was trying to get a refill. And I was still under 18 at this point. I was trying to get a refill because this is, like, the only children's gender clinic in the DMV that has this much funding, and stuff. There are other places to go, but not all of them take insurance or whatnot. And it's a two-year-long waiting list. But they stopped refilling my testosterone prescription. Like, they just stopped it. I couldn't get any more testosterone. And, we called them, called them night of, and was like, “Hey. What's going on?”  They couldn't tell us anything. Children's National Hospital could not tell me or my legal parent, guardian anything at all.  And so, we started looking for other care because there was no promise that they would come back, or anything else. A few weeks later, they did send more prescription over eventually. But then, at that point, I had enough vials to get myself to my 18th birthday. And then I switched over to a different, like an adult, a non-pediatric hospital that had gender-affirming care because I had no idea if Children's National was going to shut down their care again. So I no longer get my gender-affirming care from Children's National, which is good because they, within the past month, they've put out a statement saying that they are shutting down the entire gender clinic by the end of August, so that means. They weren't, like, within – since that executive order, they weren't taking new patients. But now they are shutting down current patients, too. So they are no longer seeing current gender clinic patients. They are not taking any new patients. They will not do anything. They won't do mental health services in line with gender-affirming care. Like, they will do mental health services outside of, but they won't do it for gender-affirming care. They won't prescribe anything. They won't even give referrals or, like, notes that say, oh, yes, this person should be treated for this, or anything. They're shutting everything down. So that was really scary, because Children's National in DC has been one of the longest-running gender clinics, like, children's gender clinics in the U.S. And so just that being completely gone is horrifying. 

SARA: Yeah, thanks for sharing that, and I'm sorry to hear about all of that. It's devastating to hear that even so many prominent clinics are shutting their doors and refusing care. And I think your story really helps remind us and illustrates to us that this whole process for anyone is not fast. I think, and helps really dispel the mythology out there that a kid just kind of wakes up, waltzes into the doctor's office, declares some gender dysphoria, and wham, there's hormones. And how much time it takes, and how much effort it takes, and how much advocacy it takes just to be seen, let alone to get the care, and I think we forget that sometimes when we tell the story of what healthcare means for trans youth. Pluto, how about your story?

PLUTO: I would say my story started back in, also 2018. Definitely very different from both of the other stories. I actually first came out as a lesbian in my 6th grade year – back in here, that's elementary school. Being trans was unheard of. Had no idea what that was. So I came out as a girl liking other girls. Came out to my mom. My parents are divorced. So my mom was basically the one I came to about it. And she kind of told me, she was like, “Oh, well, whatever you're doing with your life, whatever you want to do.” Kind of in that, oh, well, it's just a phase kind of headspace. And then we hit my middle school years, and I started learning about being transgender. It was more widely talked about in middle school. And I started getting online, that was around the time that I started my online appearance. So I had access to more people who were talking about these things that I was experiencing. And so I would say that's about when I realized that I did not feel like a girl. I did not have the experiences that matched with what other females at the time were experiencing. And I did not like the body that I was in, or how I felt about myself. So, what ended up happening was, that took me about a year to realize, and then COVID hit at the beginning of my second year of high school. I ended up, like everybody else, being stuck in the house, not having very many friends, trying to figure out what life was, what we were supposed to be doing at the time. And I had the realization that I told my mom that I was transgender, and I wanted to get my healthcare. I wanted to start my transition. So I started socially transitioning. My friends, very accepting. My mother did not understand. She was very, very confused. But she was willing to do the research that I asked her to do on how being transgender is, how it might feel for people. And I told her to get in contact with some parenting resources because I knew at the time – and I know even better now – that they say when you transition, the parents, a lot of the time, say it feels like their child is dying, like, they died, and they're coming back. And for her, for a lot of parents, that is actually how it feels. It's not supposed to be in spite of us, it's just how they feel that their child is dead, and now there's a new person in their life. And, I went along with that. I was like, “That's fine, maybe we should get you some resources.”  And she got some resources, never told me about it, but I now know that she did actually do her research. About a year later, after the COVID thing was slowly fading out, I, behind my mom's back, made an appointment with Seattle Children's Health through their gender care clinic because I wanted to start testosterone. So I went to that. My stepfather  actually came with me to it, because I could not drive at the time. And he talked to her. We got resources. And I came home, showed everything to my mom, and she told me that I had to wait until I was 18 and that she was not okay with me starting testosterone because it could drastically change my body, and it couldn't be changed back. Which, in a sense, it does definitely change your body when you start testosterone. I know that now I have started testosterone. But we didn't move forward with the testosterone back in, I think that was 2023.

Went home. Kept living my life like I was supposed to. Went to school. And then I hit 18 back in February of this year. And I told my mom that I was going through Planned Parenthood to go get my testosterone. And she, again, told me that she wanted me to wait until I was 21, so my frontal lobe could completely develop. And I told her that I had waited almost 7 years, and that I was no longer going to wait. And she goes, “Okay, I'll go with you, and I will support you.” So, I started testosterone back in March, I believe? I went to my appointment. Planned Parenthood does a little screening. They don't have as long as a wait time as the other places do. I was seen within 2 months. And basically, they do their screening. They go through everything, make sure that you're not being – they actually put me in a room on my own to make sure I wasn't being coerced into taking testosterone.  Told my mom she had to wait in the waiting room.

And I explained that I was not being coerced. They asked all their questions. They asked how long I've been wanting to do this. And then they took my blood, they did a finger prick to do all the tests that they needed to do, test my hemoglobin levels. And that week, I had started testosterone. I go through all the long processes that a lot of people do. But I live in Washington, so I am in a very safe state. All of the bills being passed and the laws, Washington is actually fighting against those right now at the expense of our funding, of course, and the support. But I was terrified. My stepdad told me that I might not be able to take testosterone for very long because they were going to end up changing it to 19 years old instead of 18 years old. And what ended up happening was that our – the person in charge at the very top was like, “Yeah, we're fighting against this. We're not going to be doing this – So I have secured my testosterone. And I no longer need to be terrified, hopefully, that I will not be able to keep taking it because Washington is a very safe state at this point. And I actually really appreciate our lawmakers and the people in charge here. They're great and it's definitely been a scary, scary situation since  the current president came in charge.

SARA: Sure, I think it's scary for a lot of people, not just youth now, because it's just really unpredictable, and it's clear this administration's going to continue to target trans folks. And we're going to talk about that, too. Thank you for sharing your stories. So important, I think, for all of us to hear these journeys, to hear how different they are, to hear some of the myth-busting that you've done for us about  it's easy to get some of those stories that politicians are telling kind of stuck in our minds, and so good to hear the real truth of the lived experience from trans youth. I really appreciate you taking the time to do that. And I want to go back now to Queer Youth Assemble. And Zayden, I'm wondering if you'll share with us a little bit about what are some of the events and programs that Queer Youth Assemble offers. 

ZAYDEN: Oh, of course. So we have kind of a few main things. We have in the summer, usually, we have the Let Trans athletes play. I've organized one in my local town in Maryland. And it was a huge success, and I got to meet some awesome people. And then also during the summer, we haven't had as many, but we've done a few beach days where it's just kind of everyone comes out and just has fun on a beach or a lake, or anywhere we can get to. And then we also have during the fall, we usually have something called Monster Mingle, which is a Halloween-centered. Kind of just dance or just hang out. Those are a lot of fun. And then during the winter we have had Queer Youth on Ice, which is basically, we just head out and take over a skating rink for a day and hang out there, and have a lot of fun, and fall over a bunch. 

SARA: I love these recurring community-building events, and I'm just curious logistically because you're all in different places, does Queer Youth Assemble as an organization support local communities to do these events in their own community? 

ZAYDEN: Yes, so that's primarily what my job is. My job is to, not only organize these in my town, but also help volunteers from across the country to organize things for their local space and community. So I offer them support and help teach them how to kind of go about organizing this, how to get the word out, how to fill out permits if needed, how to get people there, and just all of this different stuff. The other big side of the programs are the protests. So, that's another big thing. I definitely do a lot more work on the protest side of things. I have done a bunch of stuff, and I'm also in a really good, like geographically good spot, because I'm about 20 minutes  outside of DC, I can get in there by the metro. I can get down to the Supreme Court in about an hour. It's kind of this, like, I have a good place to protest, and there's often a protest happening in DC, like, kinda 24-7 at this point. Which isn't great, but is convenient for me. So I've organized one large-scale protest with Queer Youth Assemble, and that was Youth Descent. It was  summer of 2023 and we did a bunch. It wasn't as big as the Youth Autonomy. Still we had, I think, maybe 5 or 6 marches. And so that was down at the Supreme Court. And that was a lot of work, but it got done. And then the most recent thing I've done with Queer Youth Assemble, is we did a rapid response along with ACLU and a bunch of other organizations to the Supreme Court's decision on Skrimetti. 

SARA: Tell us a little bit about what that looked like.

ZAYDEN: Yeah, of course. So, I started kind of getting people on the ground, and just kind of creating a team of people who I knew could get down to DC like day of, kind of thing. We were going to just get to the Supreme Court as quick as we could.  And so I got in contact with a bunch of people. And I found out that the ACLU was doing a very similar thing. And they had already kind of started building this foundation of the plan. And so I was like, “Hey, can I join on as a partner, kind of with Queer Youth Assemble, and just as me, as an activist?” And they were like,”Yeah, sure, 100%.” And I was actually on the phone with the director of the entire ACLU, like, rapid response for Skrmetti decision.  I was on the phone with them the morning when the decision came out. So I was, like, talking to them on the phone, we were talking about logistics and what I could do to help, and what I thought needed to be done, and what was already done. And then I was also watching the Supreme Court live update feed because it was one of the decision days. And we happen to be talking about when did we think the decision was coming out. And right as they were like, “Oh, I think it might be coming out this next week.” I'm like, “The decision just dropped,” because I had just seen it come in on my phone on that feed.  I was, like, the decision dropped. And they're like, alright, I'm going to call you back. Cool. So I was the one to tell the ACLU that it dropped. That's a pretty cool thing on my end. But also, it then meant that I had to get down to DC, to the Supreme Court and do everything we had just started talking about. I mean, like, I had already been working on this, and they had already been working on this, but working on it together, was like, “Oh, we go now.”  I ended up writing a speech on the metro to give at the Supreme Court. It also ended up thunderstorming that day, and so we moved inside to a local church that was already set up and was ready as the backup location if it did rain. And it was a beautiful day of community. I got to speak. I was the first speaker of the rally, which was a really cool experience. 

SARA: That's amazing. And thank you for doing that. I was in the DC metro area, actually, when Skrimetti came down at a conference. And I was watching, and have been working with the ACLU, and really just appreciate all the support that all organizations did around that day, because it was not an easy day. Esme, I know that you only have a short period of time left with us, so I have a couple of questions for you before you have to depart, and then Zayden and Pluto and I can finish the conversation. Two questions for you,  I'm curious the Queer Youth Assemble helped organize a national march for queer and trans youth autonomy. And that was Trans Day of Visibility in 2023, in DC – or across the country, in spaces across the country – So, can you talk a little bit about what it took to make that happen in such a national fashion? And then as you wrap up your time with us, I also wonder if you can take a moment for youth who are listening who might feel out of their depth, or wondering how they can create some small change in their small community if you have a message for youth who are really kind of looking to figure out how to get involved, how to help, how to make some change, how to connect with community. 

ESME: Well, the answer to the last question first, I just want to circle back to the bans on gender-affirming care and the hospitals that are restricting access of gender-affirming care to people under 18. It is absolutely atrocious. It is inconceivable that a medical organization, legitimate medical organizations, would just abandon their patients like this. It’s a complete violation of everything medicine stands for, the Hippocratic Oath, providing the best, happiest, healthiest, and safest care possible. And, in all honesty, I would rather have it where hospitals say no, and they have to test and see if the Trump administration would actually take their funding away, because until this stuff starts to affect cisgender people, until the impulsive, reckless decisions of this administration start to affect cisgender people, the majority of the population for now, nothing is going to change. I would rather see hospitals not cave in and lose their federal funding for hospitals in general, so that way, people start to see the quality of care dip. They start to see their medications not able to be supported. And they start to see who was responsible for this. And go, “Oh, well, the government has just decided to take away our funding because we are providing legitimate medical care. It is absolutely atrocious.” Honestly, I am sick and tired of hearing people saying, “Well, Republicans, all they want is this, all Democrats want is that.” We need to stop worrying about what other people are thinking and start doing what we can to support our people and support the people who are in need. That is the number one priority of any decently structured organization of any decently structured mutual aid group. We stop worrying about what other people are doing, and we start doing what we can. That's the number one priority that every single young person should be doing across this country. You need to obviously look inward and see, “Well, what can I do as an individual? Because I might be in a conservative area, but I might be able to help out online. I might be in a more progressive area, and I could do some organizing. I might have a car, and I could travel to another area to organize an event or a protest. And every single one of those things that you think of, Queer Youth Assemble, is here to support you. We have event request forms that people can fill out, and we can help you organize an event. We do inquiries for protests. We organize a lot of just really fun stuff around the country. We have fun little initiatives, like we send out free birthday cards to queer and trans young people that are affirming and caring. We have a pen pal matching program where we match pen pals with one another. We have a zine thing where people can join in and put their artwork into a little community tapestry of sorts that allows people to just see the incredible artwork of queer and trans young people from across the country. And overall, get organized. That's my message is because nothing is going to change unless you make it happen. And I don't mean to say that in a depressing, narcissistic sort of way where I'm saying everything falls on you. It doesn't. You have an entire community of people around you that love and care for you and want to support you. You just have to find it. And we are part of that community. We are a community that loves and cares and supports one another.

And we're gonna do that with you. But back to the first question about the March for Queer and Trans Youth Autonomy, that was probably one of our finest moments as an organization because the amount of planning that went into that was off the charts. I mean, we had to keep track of all the marches. We had to respond to all the requests for support and the inquiries. We had to get the advertising out. We had to plan speakers, get all the logistics planned out for these events. And I think that the beauty in the planning of this is that we took a very decentralized approach. We gave people a general guide and said, “Hey, we're going to have a march on this date. If you want to join us, all you have to do is just submit your march to this form, and you can start planning it right away.”  And that way, it allows local LGBTQ+ organizations and young people and organizers to really get their feet wet without having to go through any of the bureaucratic hoops, or having to pay to start a march or anything like that. They could just do it. And all they have to do is just keep us informed so we can uplift them and support them. We had thousands, tens of thousands, of people from across the country participate in this. We had stories from everywhere, from, I think Alaska got one, Vermont had one. We had a bunch of national news outlets cover us. And it was fantastic. The logistical organizing, I worked with two incredible organizers to kind of get all this going.  Forrest and Scout, those were two people. Forrest is one of the co-presidents of QIA. And Scout was our former head of policy and founded the organization called Bulletproof Pride, which is just an incredible policy-driven group that supports the LGBTQ+ community in raising awareness towards gun violence, and also deals with LGBTQ+ policy work, which are two very pressing issues in our community right now. And they did an incredible job with just planning out the logistics for the Washington, D.C. March and ensuring that all of these other people were aware of what they needed. I did a lot of the website planning and the advertising and just reaching out to anybody I could that would listen that had just a decently sized platform to spread this. And we wouldn't be anywhere without social media, honestly, and I think that's what really depresses me, is that social media right now is restricting a lot of content for LGBTQ+ young people, and is uplifting a lot of content from sort of the far-right echo chambers which is just very hard to ignore. And another piece of advice I have is just don't respond to any of it. I think that when we respond to something, we legitimize it in a certain way. And obviously there are some things that we have to respond to. Like if there's a natural disaster, we obviously have to say we're giving all the support, and we're offering our care. If somebody is shot, or if there's a, God forbid, if there's an accident at a rally or something like that, we have to respond to that. If there's a terrible genocide happening in this world, like there is in Palestine right now, then we obviously have to say something about that, which we have multiple times. It's ultimately picking and choosing our battles. And we pick and choose our battles in a way that ultimately uplifts the people the most we can and creates at least some sort of visibility and change in those groups, because we understand that we could do a protest every single day, it is not going to change a lot. But what we can do is we can empower young people with the tools and the resources and the care to create change in their local communities to form better relationships with their families, to help educate their schools and their friends. And that ultimately creates a much different picture than what other people are trying to paint, that we're this violent, anarchist group.  We're trying to be the just friendly people who are always going to be here to support you. 

SARA: Well, I think the programs and support that you offer, just thinking about something as lovely and fun as a beach day for trans youth and trans folks in the community, that makes a significant impact. 

ESME: Yeah. 

SARA: So from organizing mass national protests in the streets to a beach day, there's a lot of different ways that you all help inspire that kind of support and activism. And I appreciate that, and all that you had to share. Thank you so much for your time with us, Esme. It's been really great to talk to you. Zayden and Pluto, I have a few more questions for each of you. 

ESME: Of course. 

SARA: Pluto, I know it's really important for Queer Youth Assemble to be youth-led. Like, that is the primary vision for the organization. Why is that so important? 

PLUTO: That is very important, definitely, especially right now because the youth are, I wouldn't say attacked, but we are the main ones going through a lot of what is going on right now. We are going to be the future of the United States. And we need to make sure that we are in the place where we can support ourselves, and we can support the people around us. And Queer Youth Assembled being youth-led is so important, because we're learning, we’re acting, we're doing what we're supposed to be doing as youth. Because, in the first place, the people who are older than us, they weren't doing much. They weren't being seen. And we have made it so that we are being seen. We are out there. We are loud. And we are proud to be who we are. And that's why it's so important for us to be part of all of this is because we are loud. We are getting our voices out there. And we deserve that. 

SARA: Yes, thank you for reminding us of that. I think there is a generational thing in that older generations felt the need to hide, and the need for more secrecy. And the younger generation now are helping lead the way in being out and visible, and proud, and vocal, and reminding with that solidarity that says, “If we're all together, we don't have to hide.” I really appreciate that. Zayden, as someone who's done a lot of activism, and in the DC metro area, where you mentioned there could be a protest every day, or more than one a day even. How do you balance the nature of activism, the pull, all that is pulling at you to do, and the seriousness of it, with creating joy in community.

ZAYDEN: Oh, of course. I think that's especially been on my mind recently, as the Skrmetti decision week took so much out of me. I was exhausted. I think I put in a total of maybe 30 or 40 hours of Queer Youth Assembled work in the month of June alone. But I have been taking kind of a step back. I didn't work much during July. And then, actually this past week, I was a summer camp counselor for the other org. I work for, which has a similar mission. They're called Girls Rock DC. So the Girls Rock Camps all over started by Kathleen Hanna with the Riot Girl movement. And so, there are a bunch of different camps around the nation. And I work for Girls Rock DC. And I love it so much. I was a camper there in previous years. And I got to be a counselor this year. I got to teach bass to a bunch of amazing young kids. And I also got to be a band coach for two delightful bands. And I think seeing the joy and creativity that these young, queer and femme presenting youth have in the DMV is just so heartwarming and gives me hope. Girls Rock DC centers female presenting, and female and gender expansive youth, specifically BIPOC youth from the DMV. Unlike the name suggests, it is so incredibly trans friendly. I actually met my first trans adult there. And it was so cool to see an adult who has lived their entire life, or most of their life being who they are and actually getting to experience the world. And I was really grateful to be that for the kids this past week. And I had two bands, one of which were called The Man-eating Puppies because these are a group of 8, 9, and 10-year-olds who get to choose their own name. And their entire song was about the puppy revolution and how there's going to be a whole --  the puppies are tired of being pets and so they fight the humans, but the big fight happens in space. And so they have to go to space. And while this is happening, we're playing guitar and drums and bass and keyboard. And I love their creativity so much, and it's just so amazing to see them grow throughout the week, because half of these kids have never picked up the instrument they have that they're playing before. And then at the end of the week, they get to perform their songs at the Black Cat in DC, which is, like, a really well-known venue. It's awesome. 

SARA: That is so cool. What fun. So it sounds to me like part of the joy is connecting with that creative side of yourself, and others, and getting to mentor young people. That is really lovely. Pluto, for you, I'm curious in your world on the other side of the country, how do you stay motivated? And how do you help your peers and other youth stay motivated, especially in these times when headlines and the politics are so discouraging?

PLUTO: I would say, I mean, my motivation personally has been terrible recently, but I have been trying really hard to keep up with the program that we have. It's called the Pen Pals Program.  I actually started the Pen Pals program back in 2023. We basically match the queer youth together so that they can send letters or send texts and make new friends. And that is the way I personally try to keep everyone motivated to keep going is by having it so that people can meet other people, so they know that they're not alone. And I have fallen a little bit behind, I would say. But I am going to start trying really hard now that I'm in more of a stable place to keep going with this project, and to start helping. And I'm also the Virtual Events Coordinator in our queer youth space server. So we have a separate server, and it's a server on Discord where basically people who aren't in Queer Youth Assemble can join it. And they can meet new people, and that's basically what my goal has been since I joined Queer Youth Assemble, is getting people together, having it's so that no one is alone. They have the people they need.

SARA: That's fantastic. Pluto, can you say the name of that server on Discord so we can make sure we put that in the show notes? 

PLUTO:  It's called Queer Youth Space.

SARA: Queer Youth Space on Discord. Okay, we'll make sure we link that, the website to Queer Youth Assemble, and all of the cool programs that you do. And also, Pluto, I appreciate you naming that it's hard to stay motivated. I think the reality of that is true for so many young people and so many of us. And hearing other people express that is helpful. So thanks for not hiding behind that and suggesting that you're motivated all the time. I think that's really important for folks to have some connection around that. 

PLUTO: Yeah. 

SARA: This has been a really wonderful conversation. I'm just so amazed and inspired by the work that you all are doing in your lives with Queer Youth Assemble, especially given all of the continued growing challenges that are facing trans youth in our country. How can folks listening, whether they're youth or parents or allies, what can they do, not just to get involved in Queer Youth Assemble, but what's one thing that you would like folks listening to do to support the kind of work that you're doing? 

PLUTO:  I would say, look us up, get involved. We have a website. We're always taking applications. We're a very open community. We almost never reject applicants unless there's something really off about the application. And we have so many different programs and parts. And there's so many different ways you can help out in the community through us or through other organizations. We're not the only organization out there doing stuff like this. Look in your own community, in your small towns, just reach out to people. Make sure that you're being heard. That's the main important thing is that you're talking and you're being heard. 

SARA: Thank you, that's great. 

ZAYDEN: I think, on the other side of being heard, listen to the queer and trans folks around you. Listen to what they are asking, what they need support with, and then give them that support. Listen to them, and speak up for yourself, but make sure not to speak over the voices whose voices really need to be centered right now, which are queer and trans youth. And just queer and trans people in general, but especially queer and trans youth. Especially with the Skrmetti decision because it is trans youth who are getting the brunt of it. And you don't want to take attention away from the people who are being directly impacted by just talking over them.  Also, be there for them. Join a community. Find a community. Make a community. We have an online community, but we don't have a community in, like, every single place in the world, because that's just not feasible. But if you join the online community, we can help you with resources and starting that in-person, in your town community. I think that's the biggest thing, is community, and listening, and speaking up for each other. But not speaking over each other. 

SARA: That's great. That's really great advice from both of you. Thank you both so much for your time and your energy, and the work that you do in the world, and for being who you are. I know I'm walking away from this conversation inspired to help my people with a beach day. So I love all that you're doing. Thanks for speaking with us at Mama Dragons here today. 

ZAYDEN: Yeah. Of course.Thank you. 

PLUTO: Of course. 

SARA: Thank you so much for joining us here In the Den. Did you know that Mama Dragons also offers an eLearning program called Parachute? This is an interactive learning platform where you can learn more about how to affirm, support, and celebrate the LGBTQ+ people in your life. Learn more at Mamadragons.org/parachute. Or find the link in the episode show notes under links. 

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